This man is Peter Phelps. He's a Liberal member of NSW parliament, mostly known for being accused of plagiarism, hating traffic lights, and generally being a parliamentary rascal.
Today, he rose to speak in favour of legalised eyeball tattooing, which has been the subject of some discussion lately. The NSW government recently changed health regulations to include eyeball tattooing, making it safer. The Labor opposition opposed the changes, saying that by regulating eyeball tattooing, the government was effectively making it legal.
In parliament on Wednesday, Phelps rose to speak against Labor's opposition to the regulations, saying that just because something is silly or dangerous, that doesn't mean it should be illegal.
"There are things which other people like and engage in, which I personally don't engage in, which are inherently dangerous," Phelps said.
Then things got interesting. Let's go to the tape...
"Rugby league is inherently dangerous... are we going to ban that!?" he asked.
"Ballet is dangerous. You get injuries in ballet!" he thundered.
"These are things which I don't engage in, but other people engage in. Are we to ban these things which are inherently dangerous? We're not going to ban rugby league. We're not going to ban ballet...." he said.
"We're not going to ban ANAL FISTING! These things are dangerous, but we're not going to ban them, are we?" Phelps said.
"Or maybe we are. Maybe we've reached a whole new morality in this state which says 'because I don't like it and it's a bit dangerous, let's just ban it all. Ban all the things'," he concluded.
BuzzFeed News contacted Phelps to ask just what it is he's got against anal fisting, and Phelps assured us that he's not opposed to the practise, it's just "not his cup of tea."
"Never felt the inclination to try it. Like parachuting, free climbing or bareback riding," he said.
Phelps said that attempts to ban things just because they're dangerous are a "slippery slope", and criticised the Labor opposition for it's hypocricy.
"Eyeball tattoos were [under Labor] and now, under us, legal, just unregulated," he said. NSW Health Minister [Jillian Skinner] put in safety standards via regulation. Labor tried to disallow the regulations, saying it legalised it. They're idiots."
"Then they said it was silly. I said people have a right to be silly. They said it was abhorent. I said it was a slippery slope if we start banning things on basis of moral views. They said it was dangerous.
"I said lots of shit is dangerous, but we don't ban it."
Rob Stott is a news editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney.
Contact Rob Stott at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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