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39 Brutally Honest, Sweary, And Genius Things Liam Gallagher Has Actually Said

They genuinely don't make them like this anymore.

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1. On school: "I didn't go to school to learn, did I? I just went because my mum was the dinner lady."

2. On modern guitar bands: "I’m not having posh lads with tattoos."

3. On his sense of humour: "I’m the kind of guy that, when I see geese, I go: 'All right, geezers?' and I think that’s hilarious. And they’re just looking at me going: 'Like I haven’t heard that one before, you prick.'"

4. On his opinion of musicians as a kid: "I just thought music was for losers. If I ever saw anyone with a guitar I was like, 'Go and kick a football, you weirdo.'"

5. On cooking: "I hate cooking. Cooking can fuck right off."

6. On the origins of the universe: "The big-bang theory? Not really a theory, is it? What, one explosion and that was it? Bit fucking boring, if you ask me."

7. On Noel: "He’s like the new Robbie Williams or something. It’s fucking weird."

8. On Mumford & Sons: "They look like fucking Amish people. You know them ones with the big sideys that don’t use electricity? Growing their own food and putting barns up. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit fucking dangerous."

9. On Glastonbury: "It’s like Bond Street with mud."

10. On Oasis not breaking America: "I thought we were the bollocks and I thought we’d be doing that all over the world. I thought America would buy it, everyone would buy it… But that, my friend, is cocaine for you."

11. On his mum: "She's like, 'Fuck the pair of ya.'"

12. On his Twitter: "I want an award for that shit. It’s a sport to me and I want medals for it!"

13. On Skepta: "Is he a Virgo? I read somewhere he’s a Virgo. It’s not really important, I mean, you’re born when you’re born, aren’t you? But if he’s a Virgo then he’s obviously pretty cool."

14. On Dave Grohl: "Ruined it for all of us. He broke his leg and still toured. Who does that? Now if I have a 'cold' I can't cancel because I'll look like a wuss."

15. On his son's 16th birthday present: "He wants some complicated BMX bike thing. What's wrong with a stripper?"

16. On the sea: "Fuck the sea. I ain't going in that. Fuck that, mate. That ain't meant for us. That's meant for the sharks, and the jellyfish, tadpoles and stuff. But a hot tub? I'm alright in a hot tub. Can hang about in there for a bit."

17. On his favourite documentaries: "Shit on cults and godheads and all that. I like watching fuckin’ weird bastards. Y’know, they believe in some weirdo, it all goes tits up. Shit like that."

18. On pets: "I’m into my little sausage dogs — I’ve got a new chocolate-dappled one called Brigitte Bardot. It’s mega."

19. On Harry Styles: "I heard the first song. What’s it called? The Prince-y one. I heard that and thought, 'Bit fucking dramatic for a young man.'"

20. On his son's modelling career: "So I’m like that: 'Where’s my cut? Them two eyebrows, they’re mine, right? So I want a cut of this fucking wonga.'"

21. On DJs becoming the new rock stars: "Not in my world, they haven’t. What, Calvin fuckin’ Harris? The most boring fucking person? Fuck off, mate… I’ll tell you what they’ve become: the new accountants!"

22. On his children's music taste: "They also like that bloke, WhatsApp Ricky. You know, the American geezer, stylish, funny gold teeth..." Interviewer: You mean A$AP Rocky? "Oh, yeah, that's the fella. WhatsApp Ricky. That's a better fucking name anyway."

23. On Noel, Part II: "When I think about it, being in a band with him bores the death out of me."

24. On his overflowing wardrobe: "I just have to go through it every now and again and think, 'D’you know what? I’ll give that to charity.' That makes me feel good. There’s loads of fucking cool-looking tramps round our way now, mate."

25. On Oasis' break-ups: "We were good at breakin’ up y’know what I mean? There’s bands out there that just fuckin’ limp off. We went out with a bang, man."

26. On Jedward: "I don’t mind them little fuckers."

27. On his vices: "I didn't have a guitar habit because I could never play; I had a tambourine habit once, though. But, to be honest, you play one tambourine, you've played them all, mate..."

28. On...errr...we're not entirely sure: "I believe in paralleled dimensions, mate. People always say there's two sides of the coin, but what about the third side? The bit in the middle? That's what I'm into. The width."

29. On doing Carpool Karaoke: "No thank you very much. No fucking chance, mate. With that fat bloke from Kevin & Perry?"

30. On the songwriting process: "I play the simplest song in the world, maybe I do bass lines, just to get a rhythm, and then I get a melody and I tape it on my phone and I get a couple of lines and I freak myself out and have to go for a walk because they’re fucking brilliant."

31. On taking drugs in middle-age: "I know for a fact I shouldn’t because they’re shit at the moment. It’s like Ashcroft said, they just don’t work any more."

32. On Noel, Part III: "Our kid looks more like Louis Walsh these days."

33. On singing "Don't Look Back in Anger" at Glastonbury: "I wanted to do it, man. I've always wanted to fuckin' do it secretly. I've done it a few times in the shower, d'you know what I mean?"

34. On losing his temper: "I fucking love it. If someone looks at me the wrong way… [glares intimidatingly] I definitely know how to reign it in but you’ve got to be angry too, mate. It’s good for ya… Don’t look back in anger, my fucking arse!"

35. On playing the One Love Manchester concert: "Me mam's still there, me family's still there, and I am Mancunian through and through. I'd have come back from the fuckin' moon to be there."

36. On rumours that he swung a guitar at Noel during Oasis' breakup: "What, I wielded it 'like an axe'? Leave it out, mate. He's been watching too many episodes of Hollyoaks."

37. On Supersonic, the 2016 documentary about the band's early days: "It’s nice to remind people that we’re not just a bunch of silly old men calling each other ‘potato’."

38. On Noel, Part IV: "Everyone knows that he’s a bit of a cunt, and I’m a bit of a cunt."

39. And finally, on how he thinks he'll be remembered: "Someone who came and fucking had it and didn’t turn into a dickhead."

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