22 Keyhero.com Quotes By "Anonymous"

Keyhero.com is a site for typing practice, not entertainment. But some of the quotes can be quite funny or thought provoking.

1. On Establishment Policy

keyhero.com

"The policy of this establishment is that shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria. Socks, on the other hand, can eat in any place they would like to eat."

2. On Love VS Infatuation

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"They say love is blind. I disagree. Infatuation is blind. Love is all-seeing and accepting. Love is seeing the flaws and blemishes and accepting them. Love is accepting the bad habits and mannerisms, and working around them. Love is recognizing all the fears and insecurities, and knowing your role is to comfort. Love is working through all the challenges and painful times. Infatuation is fragile and will shatter when life is not perfect. Love is strong and it strengthens because it is real."

3. On The Meaning Of Life

keyhero.com

"The universe isn't random. It doesn't make mistakes. Everything in it happens for a reason: because the universe thoroughly enjoys watching you suffer."

4. On Failure

keyhero.com

"Failure can happen to anyone. Hard work and talent increase your chances at success, but nothing can guarantee it. It is time to destigmatize failure!"

5. On Pedestrian Traffic

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"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and together, we can block all the people behind us so they can't pass by."

6. On Short Quotes

keyhero.com

"This is the best quote in the world because this quote is very short and very good and easy to type. I know many people hate these types of quotes; I do too."

7. On Unrequited Love

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"And so, dear reader, I can no longer deny my feelings, and so I must address you directly. Our lives could not be more different or more distant, my existence being confined to these pages, which to you are likely nothing more than any of the other books on your shelf. But as your beautiful eyes scan the pages of my life, I feel as though we have an intimate connection."

8. On Quitting While Ahead

keyhero.com

"With the first letter, you begin with infinity WPM. It only goes downhill from there. Why even bother? Why not quit while you're ahead? Life is a constant struggle."

9. On The Passage Of Time

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"My wife told me she lost her keys. I just don't understand how that's possible. I could never lose mine. I always keep them in the same place: on my keyboard."

10. On Conspiracy Theories

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Stop unquestioningly believing the mainstream, default narrative. Stop being a sheep and throw away Occam's razor. Instead, unquestioningly accept my theory about how Earth is flat and the lizards want to microchip you.

11. On Tautologies

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"Love is love. Marriage is marriage. Fairness is fairness. Oppression is oppression. People are people. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. This isn't a political statement; it's just a list of tautologies."

12. On Temporary Relationships

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"Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they've given us."

13. On Perspective

keyhero.com

"It could be worse? Thanks for adding anxiety about what else could go wrong to my sadness about how bad the situation is right now. Just because there are worse situations doesn't mean that this doesn't suck."

14. On Attribution

keyhero.com

"Many quotes are attributed to people who didn't really say them. Ascribing one's own opinions to someone more famous in order to give them more weight is a viable strategy after all, since most people don't fact check."

15. On Word Choice

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"You have to know the difference between a regime, a regimen, and a regiment. You probably don't have a skin care regime. You don't have an exercise regiment."

16. On Spiders

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"There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. All spiders. It is not a phobia, it is perfectly rational to burn down a house when you see a spider in it."

17. On Tolerance

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"If you tolerate intolerance, the result is intolerance. However, if you go the other extreme and are completely intolerant toward the intolerant, you and the intolerant one can end up in an endless spiral of mutual intolerance. Instead, tolerate all people but not all behaviors."

18. On Beverage Preparation

keyhero.com

"Get a tall glass. Pour in one inch of chocolate syrup, then one inch of milk. Do not mix the two. Pour in cold seltzer slowly until the glass is almost full. Then carefully stir. There should be a layer of white foam at the top."

19. On Life Forms

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"How can you believe that we are the only life form in the universe? We're not the only life form on this planet. The universe includes this planet; ergo, we are not the only life form in the universe."

20. On Difficulty

keyhero.com

"You want everything to be easy, don't you? Too bad. Nothing is easy, and this quote isn't easy to type. You let this get into your head, and you're much too aware of your keystrokes."

21. On Headstarts

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"Technically, people who were born prematurely get to vote, drink, or drive for the first time at a younger developmental age than people who were born at full term. This is not a major injustice, but if you think about it, it isn't exactly fair."

22. On Self-Reference

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"Self-referential quotes suck, which is why it is so important that this quote does not contain even one iota of self-reference. That makes this quote superior. Oops!"