4 Pillars Of Any Relationship

Relationships is a tricky business and not just romantic kind—every relationship is unique and has its challenges. But that’s okay because some relationships are worth fighting for and luckily there are four basic pillars to any healthy relationship. (This is for the the Editorial Fellowship)

4 Pillars of Any Relationship

Relationships is a tricky business and not just romantic kind—every relationship is unique and has its challenges. But that’s okay because some relationships are worth fighting for and luckily there are four basic pillars to any healthy relationship.

1.) LOVE

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First and foremost is love which lasts the longest. It’s important because it's the foundation for any kind of relationship, not just romantic. We love our family, friends, and whoever we date, but we love them all differently. Maybe the Greeks had the right idea about having more than one word for “love.”

It’s also critical to know that love is both a feeling but also a choice.

Love as a feeling: As a feeling, love lasts the longest. Ever find yourself continuing to love someone who hurt you? Maybe that’s why some people stay in relationships that should’ve ended awhile ago… 👀 But it’s also love’s long-lasting feeling that helps us choose to love someone when they’re not being their best selves, which also brings us to the choice aspect.

Love as a choice: We have to remember that the word “love” is also a verb! It takes action to love someone! It’s not just a feeling or an emotion! On surface level, you can actively show you love your partner by buying them chocolate and flowers. But as you get deeper, you can show you love your partner by being patient, understanding, by listening to them, and calling them out when they’re not being lovable.

2.) TRUST

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Trust is the most fragile thing in a relationship. It’s easy to break and hard to rebuild.

Anyone who’s had their trust broken knows what it’s like trying to trust again, and anyone who’s broken someone’s trust knows how hard it is to rebuild.

But why is trust important? Humans are social beings who thrive in healthy communities, and trust helps create and strengthen human connection. There is, however, a vulnerability that’s needed in order to trust, which can be a little scary, but trusting allows for safety in that vulnerability. And when you are trustworthy people will know you as not only reliable but genuine.

3.) COMMUNICAITON & UNDERSTANDING

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The third is communication and understanding which takes the most time! People communicate differently to different people, and that’s okay!

People’s communication differs due to background, culture, ethnicity, beliefs, mannerisms, and language. Effective communication and understanding requires patience, trial and error, respect, trust, listening to understand not to just speak, and a genuine desire care for one another. We have to remember that it takes two to want to communicate and understand, and it’s not necessarily what we say but how we say things is what’s important.

4.) RESPECT

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Lastly, there is respect and honor which is unfortunately, most often neglected.

In a way, a person is like a $100 bill. Does it have value? Of course! But what if that $100 has been crumpled up, has stains, and doesn’t look as sharp as it used to? Does it still have value? The only right answer is yes. So does a person, despite background, culture, ethnicity, and beliefs deserve respect? Yes.

But why is respect important? Well, it’s basically the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated.

TO SUM IT UP...

Each pillar play its own important role in every relationship and it’s essential to take care of each pillar because like dominoes, if one falls, they all tend to fall.