As amazing as it is to be a woman, there are some things that make life hard simply because we are this gender. So, when Reddit user u/classco asked the r/AskWomen community: "What’s something you wished you never had to deal with as a woman? Why?" I thought it would be important to share their answers. Here's what they had to say below:
1. "Biology. I would just like to go to the baby store and order one baby, please."
2. "Beauty standards. Just leave us alone. I don’t wanna be thin, skinny, or a 'muscle mommy.' I like McDonald’s Coke. I have acne, and my curly hair isn’t ugly. Can I just live my life without thinking about what someone else might think of me?
3. "Being seen as silly and inferior when voicing my opinion during serious issues."
"Yep. More likely to be overlooked as 'overly emotional' and my favorite, being told 'don't take it personally.' Do they not know that that sentence is actually what makes it personal?"
4. "Being overlooked at work, especially as a young woman. Like, please, I know my shit — just let me do my job. Also, being interrupted."
5. "People acting like my 'daddy issues' are my fault. Pretty sure he was the abusive parent in that situation. Not sure how his lack of parenting skills and empathy is somehow my little child self's fault. It’s not even my adult self's fault. Women with daddy issues aren’t the problem, it’s the dads."
"I always thought this, too. It’s wild that the abandonment of my father has been a reason for me to be judged and not him. It’s just wild."
6. "People assuming that polite chit-chat translates into 'she's definitely flirting and wants the D.' And then getting harassed because I've said no."
7. "Sexual harassment for just existing. I’ve been sexually harassed at work, running errands, literally just minding my business, and I’ve been leered at, followed, and had nasty things said to me."
"This is for me, too. The having to think about everything we do, what we wear, where we go, how we look at someone, how we speak, etc., in case it puts us at risk of sexual harassment and the fact that this harassment starts when we are still children."
8. "Answering people why I'm not interested in getting married before turning 30 — because it's ok for men to get married after 30 but not for women. This makes me so furious. My sister is 27 and on top of her PhD; she's under a lot of pressure to meet and marry someone before she's 30. I decided that I won't get married a single minute before I turn 30 even if I'm ready for it because I don't want to give that satisfaction to these people."
9. "My worth being defined by how attractive I am."
10. "Pregnancy. Periods. They are the worst. I would like to shut my period off and then restart it when I have kids without horrible hormones and their side effects. Also, having to play to men's egos and constantly being told my accomplishments are impressive...for a woman."
11. "Being regarded as an 'anxious woman' when seeking medical care, for things that had nothing to do with being either anxious or female."
"Yes! The medical negligence and perfunctory examination culminate with a disparaging 'it’s just anxiety.' I’ve been diagnosed with (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) GAD in the past, and every single time I’ve been to the doctor, it’s the first thing they allude to: 'I see in your records you’ve been prescribed Sertraline in the past.' ARGH!"
12. "Being 'mommy's little helper' aka parentification because I'm a girl."
13. "That if I get cheated on, I must have been doing something wrong in the relationship and I'm not taking care of my man properly. But when he cheats, it's, 'Men have desires, it's in their nature.'"
14. "The notion that 'women aren't supposed to be hairy,' but it's okay for men. If I wasn't supposed to be hairy, then why do I grow body hair? And if I don't shave, I get weird looks, and so many men would refuse to consider me as a partner. The whole thing is exhausting."
15. "Petty bullshit with other women. Why? We all have insecurities but continue to put each other down or talk crap about each other. Never-ending and doesn’t matter what age you are. Just stop because we are all basically dealing with the same thing."
16. "The way literally EVERY person I’ve told that I don’t and will never want to have children has said, 'Oh, well, you never know. You may change your mind!' No. When I said NEVER, I wasn’t being figurative. I genuinely mean I never want kids. I don’t know why others struggle to understand when people say they’re not built to be a parent."
17. "Being afraid to run alone or go for a walk alone or walk out to my car after work alone or travel alone."
18. “Lay back, put your feet on the stirrups, and scooch toward me. Scooch down some more and relax your legs.”
19. "Menopause. I had a total hysterectomy in 2005, and I still suffer even though I am on estrogen patches. Weight gain around my middle, swelling, fatigue, brain fog, irritable, and horrible sleep. No relief in sight, so I just deal with it."
20. "Patriarchy. I don’t exist to clean up after people, and I’m tired of living in a world designed by men to meet the needs of other men."
21. "The gender pay gap. Knowing that I'd be making 10% more if I were a man makes my blood boil."
