Note: The story below discusses body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
Society and media have often dictated and depicted what a "perfect" life is supposed to look like. For instance, many people still believe that being successful means having a nice house and a fancy car or even being in a longtime marriage — simply because of what they often viewed on TV or were told.
And even though some of these viewpoints have slowly changed over the years, Reddit user u/Love_humans wanted to reminisce by asking the r/AskWomen community, "What is something you used to be impressed with but are no longer?" And the answers are a little too relatable. Here's some of what they had to say.
1. "Long marriages and 'high school sweethearts.' I had a long marriage to my high school sweetheart, and every year that ticked by, I thought it was a badge of honor (all 25 years). We ended in divorce after he had an affair. I would have continued on in contented mediocrity for the rest of my life, never knowing how magical my life could be, if he hadn't thrown that grenade. It makes me encourage my kids to explore the world and discover themselves before choosing a life partner."
2. "Always being busy. At first, I admired folks who consistently chose to always have their plates too full (and act SO stressed about it, which is totally different if someone truly finds joy in a hectic schedule). Now, though, folks who are usually too busy by choice, I see it as someone who is not OK being by themselves with downtime, or who is unable to say no to other people — they lack boundaries. Neither practice impresses me much."
3. "Luxury brands. I think I just bought into the hype when I was younger, but I've largely stopped seeing the appeal."
4. "People who hate all popular music and tell you your taste is bad if you like [insert popular singer]. I used to think they’d listened to more music than everyone else and had objectively better taste. In reality, a lot of teens and twentysomethings just pretend to hate singers or bands that make the charts. You’re fooled until one night when they tell you, in a whisper, that they love Carly Rae Jepsen. And they act super embarrassed about it."
5. "How many boys/men fell in love with the same woman. I don't care anymore if 10 males are interested in you, Teresa. Get your shit together and stop bragging."
6. "Guys in bands. Eighteen- or 21-year-old me would've thought having a musician boyfriend meant they could connect with me creatively and artistically, but now I have the wisdom to just avoid them like the plague. Come to the show sometime? Share your SoundCloud link? I think not, LOL."
7. "People who try a little too hard to be 'different.' The main reason they dislike something is that it's just popular, or they go out of their way to make everything they like seem niche as shit, and think it's cool that most people 'just don't get them.'"
8. "As a child, I used to be very impressed when people had high degrees, because literally not a single adult in my family had more than a high school education, so I thought it was something super special."
9. "Being super skinny or having a thigh gap. I think all bodies are beautiful, and there’s nothing wrong with having those things, but I used to be OBSESSED with wanting to be super skinny/having a thigh gap — and developed an eating disorder from it. But now that I’m recovered, I don’t want those at all, I just want to be at my healthy weight; and even when I gain weight, I don’t mind! It’s nice not to have that mindset anymore."
10. "Men with money. Now men who know how to manage finances are much more impressive."
11. "Quiet, moody men. The teenage intrigue has long faded away. I need a partner who is open and willing to communicate about what's going on. I can't live in a quiet home where I need to constantly ask what you want, what you're thinking, how you're feeling, etc. I need a partner who will offer it up on their own. I love how open my fiancé is. It's still a learning process — men often don't have the vocabulary to express themselves the way they want. But we have come a long way."
12. "Having the 'perfect life.' I would be impressed with couples with the so-called perfect marriage, a big house, a swimming pool, two and a third kids, and lots of 'stuff.' Then you find out about the truth behind the veil: infidelity, alcoholism, abuse, lies, massive debt, and dysfunctional relationships. That was a huge eye-opener for me."
13. "Intelligence in others. I am now much more impressed when people show emotional intelligence instead of just logic."
"Agreed. Some people 'flex' intellect to compensate for hidden insecurities or to prove they're right. When emotional intelligence is rejected, there's no balance. Hence, a robot."
14. "Job titles. Then you start working with incompetent higher-ups and wonder how they got there."
15. "Connections with famous people. I work in the entertainment industry and deal with them. The worship of them is creepy and sad."
16. "Beauty. The older I get, the more I realize that good genetics are not skill, and being physically attractive does not make you inherently good. I've often found that a disproportionate number of very 'attractive' people have very unattractive personalities. Also, receiving the benefits of being attractive tends to give people a skewed outlook on life and human interaction."
17. "Big houses. They are empty for most of the day while people are at work or school. They often cost more than people can realistically afford, so they strap people who are trying to keep up with the Joneses. They require A LOT of cleaning, maintenance, yard work, etc. And they require a moving service to move out of because of all the stuff you accumulated in the years you lived there."
18. "The potential of a person. You fully embrace the thought of the person they could be, but not the person they are right now. I no longer am impressed by what people could be. The character that they show now matters more."
Is there something you used to be impressed with that you no longer care about? Tell us what it is and why in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.