If you believe sex is an integral part of any romantic relationship you're in, then you may be interested in seeing the answers from this Reddit thread where user u/Acrobatic_Month_1563 asked: "What ruins sex life in a marriage?" Here's what people had to say.
1. "Ten thousand little unaddressed disappointments, which drains communication, fosters negative assumptions, breeds coldness, and turns to resentment. The sex obviously becomes not good."
2. "Stress. Kids, work, finances, or any other kind of stress. Kiss your libido goodbye until you figure out how to deal with it."
"This. When both partners have a ton of responsibilities, high-stress jobs, and deal with innumerable demands on their time every day, and you have a highly emotional pre-teen in the house, you lock into survival mode, and everything else becomes secondary.
3. "Not focusing on the intimacy and emotional safety outside the bedroom. The actual act of sex is the shortest part of the sexual process in my case."
4. "A marriage needs work put into it. When you stop working on it and put it on hold, it won't work. You have to explore new things and show love and affection."
5. "Putting a TV in the bedroom. It distracts you from each other, and then when the distraction is over, it is time for sleep. It slowly kills because the reason to not have sex isn't because you aren't attracted to each other, it's because you are too exhausted to perform, which is a valid reason to put it off. After putting it off at an increased frequency, the initiator stops trying to initiate."
6. "Depression."
"This is my first thought. We still had an active sex life throughout our kids' childhood. Grief and depression killed our libido. Mine is coming back, but hers isn't. And I don't function unless I feel wanted."
7. "Not having open and in-depth communication. I think two adults in a marriage should be open and receptive to each other's preferences and boundaries. Feeling embarrassed or scared of hurting feelings will just result in frustration, and hence, commences the downward spiral."
8. "Routine. Unfortunately, routine keeps you healthy and mentally focused."
9. "Too many people stop romancing and dating their partners once they get married. Passionless sex is boring and mechanical. 'My partner never wants sex anymore.' Well, when's the last time you did anything to help them feel excited about you?"
10. "Treating your wife like your mother (or a rival sibling) and then expecting them to be attracted to you when you're horny."
11. "Constant joint pain. Nothing kills the mood more than getting interested and then having shooting pain in the shoulder or knees. It sucks getting old."
12. "Not trying new things. Years of the same thing can end up with the mind (and some other things) wandering. Not saying it has to be frequent, but occasionally, mixing it up is good."
13. "Constantly fighting. My ex-wife, by the end of the marriage, was upset she couldn’t land a job for a long time. She took all this pent-up rage on me and ruined my mood for sex."
14. "Painful sex. A lot of women have sex that is painful for a variety of health and anatomical reasons, and it can make your horniness go from 100 to 0 in no time."
15. "Breaking your partner’s trust and expecting them to get over it on your schedule."
16. "When one partner never initiates and rejects the other's initiation almost all the time. It feels bad."
17. "Letting the nosy dog you both adore sleep with you in bed and not having the heart to boot him out on the reg for kanoodling. And when you do, you’re both heartbroken with guilt."
