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UChicago's Harper Café Invites you to see which member of the family you are. Get ready for a good quiz: it's ServSafe Certified.

Which Harper Café Barista Are You?

Dean Boyer walks into the cafe. How do you react?

How would you describe your sex life in a drink on the Harper Menu?

What Shifts do you take?

You're about to send an email out to the listhost asking for a cover. How does it start?

A customer is mean. How do you respond?

It's Mega Shabbat night. Where are you?

What kind of music are you playing on your closing shift?

Wagwan m8! You got our general manager, Steven Berkowitz! Hailing from London, this man has two loves in his life: Mega Shabbat and Coldplay. Next time you're at Harper, make sure to order a cup of PG Tips, Steve's quality homeland drink.

Steve Berkowitz

Yaaaaa doooood! You've got our spooki spooki 4th year, Mayukh Sen! Famous for his late night Skepta sessions, this joker can dance like nobody's business and work the register like it's an actual business. Check out our secret India Spice tea next time you're at Harper - it's our Red-Sweattered Econ Major dream.

Mayukh Sen

This Delta Glamma is Harper's cutest tarot princess. She can read your palm just as good as she can steam your milk. Don't ask her to steam it for too long, though, because she believes in love at first sight. Next time you're at harper, order a romantic white chocolate latté to get in the Twyford spirit.

Zoey Twyford

Hi beeb! You got Harper's local space-witch, Savannah Mooney! Her wild looks and her wild attitude will definitely make her one of your favorite baristas, because this Peorian Queen knows how to serve up an exceptional latte. Next time you're at Harper, make sure to grab yourself Savannah's hedgehog delight - a toffee nut cappucino.

Savannah Mooney

Oof! The Ursula of Harper, ex-financial manager Delana will serve you your drink with a side of sass and a recommendation for an article from yesterday's New York Times. Make sure to grab yourself a machiatto in her honor: she'll know what you're talking about.

Delana Tavakol

There's no business like Harper business! Our new hire Rami will make sure to serve you up some coffee with a side of holding up the rush line for a conversation. Rami is the Ethel Merman of the Class of 2020 - The mother of modern celebrity culture, and the mother of toasted marshmallow lattés. Next time you're at the café, make sure to grab one!

Rami Kablawi

Ouch! Now that you've got Drew, you'll probably be fired soon. King of the Spotify Family Road Trip playlist, Drew will serve you his Peruvian Tennessee blend of shitty drip coffee with a smile and a bad case of ServeSafe hat hair. Next time you're at Harper, ask Drew to make you a pourover - he's a pro.

Drew Holt

Oh my god! You've got Ori Brian, our stock manager! Ori loves escape rooms and scavenger hunts almost as much as he loves sending out cool, detailed emails to the listhost! Next time you're at Harper, make sure to get yourself the saniation bucket special: a banana bread mocha. Thoughts?

Ori Brian

Congratulations! Such A Nice Boy! Such A Good Kid! The Only Sirop The Coffee Shop Needs! A Blessed Soul!

Ian Sirop

The funniest of Harperites, comedy queen Hannah Skaran can crack a joke just as fast as she can refill the croissants in the pastry cupboard. Make sure to order a London Fog from her - she loves to make 'em!

Hannah Skaran

Tbh to behonest, you've just got our exceptional financial manager Sima. Whether she's harmonizing behind the counter, rolling out those nickels, or making deposits to the bank, you know she's got your back! Make sure to get yourself a Tuesday surprise while you're at the café next time... a dirty chai! live love dark matter xoxo

Sima Shah

Does she even have a catchphrase? You've got Angel Fluet, calm behind the counter, crazy at the track parties. She had dreams of working at grounds of being, but now that she's at Harper, she's our Miss Congeniality. Ask her to serve you up a large soy vanilla chai... it suits her.

Angel Fluet

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Which Harper Café Barista Are You?

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