1.
For when forming words with your mouth is too difficult.
2.
For when you're not getting alcohol poisoning fast enough.
3.
For when you feel disconnected from Mother Earth.
4.
For when you're stricken with Bieber fever.
5.
For when you don't know how to say "I love you."
6.
For when you need more color in your life.
7.
For when you can't figure out how to share a beverage with a good bro.
8.
For when you get bored with stupid old regular milk.
9.
For when you're incapable of growing a real mustache.
10.
For when you're troubled by the impermanence of it all.
11.
For when you long for your glory days of Lego and K'Nex domination.
12.
For when your eyesight starts to go.
13.
For when you're nervous about getting married.
14.
For when you can't bear the idea of more plastic waste in the world.
15.
For when you're losing faith in the USA.
16.
For when you forget your own name.
