back to top

17 Cooking Gadgets That Will Destroy Your Faith In Humanity

Were you starting to think the human race might NOT be a plague on this earth? Wrong.

Posted on

5. The Dog Dicer

Do you even KNOW how DANGEROUS hot dogs are? There's basically a 99% chance of instant death by asphyxiation if you eat them without slicing them into tiny pieces first, and obviously if you use some kind of dumb hazardous tool like, oh, a knife to slice them, there's a 99% chance you'll cut your fingers off and bleed to death. Better play it safe.


9. The Pasta Boat

Making pasta is arguably the greatest challenge a cook can face. Boiling water? SUPER HARD. Dumping pasta into that water? EVEN HARDER. There has to be a better way. What's that, you say? A microwaveable plastic container that will probably leach weird plasticky chemicals into my pasta and then scald my hands when the lid comes off halfway through straining the pasta? SOLD.


15. The Bottle Cap Buddy

"Keep those pesky bugs from spoiling your drink while you are outside with The Bottle Cap Buddy As Seen On TV. Think about it...... who wants to be swatting those creepy flying critters away from their drink every 10 seconds while trying visit with friends having a good time.

Even still...who wants to swallow a beer bug with their drink and have to pour their drink out on the lawn since one or more of those nasty little critters have decided to party along with you while you buy the beer or whatever other alcohol beverage you are drinking !"

Hahahaha what it's so weird it's like I never realized until right now that every beer I ever drank outside was FULL of insects, basically comprised mainly of insects with just a little beer to keep me fooled. Wow.


With additional Useless Stuff Reporting by Sam Dean.