Food·Posted on Apr 9, 201317 Cooking Gadgets That Will Destroy Your Faith In HumanityWere you starting to think the human race might NOT be a plague on this earth? Wrong.by Rachel SandersBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. The RoboStir asseenontv.com HAHAHAHAHHAHAHH USE A GODDAMN SPOON 2. The Perfect Meatloaf Pan Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com DID YOU KNOW that 87% of Americans confess to being incapable of removing things from pans with utensils such as knives and spatulas? NO LONGER will they have to suffer in silence. 3. The Fat Magnet asseenontv.com If you think this will actually work, you deserve to eat fatty chili. 4. The Soda Caddy asseenontv.com Ach, holding the large bottle, it is so hard for my hands, they are weak, soooo weak, unable to grasp this strange round slippery object, what to do, who will help me, how can I live, how can I *dies* 5. The Dog Dicer Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com Do you even KNOW how DANGEROUS hot dogs are? There's basically a 99% chance of instant death by asphyxiation if you eat them without slicing them into tiny pieces first, and obviously if you use some kind of dumb hazardous tool like, oh, a knife to slice them, there's a 99% chance you'll cut your fingers off and bleed to death. Better play it safe. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com Don't be a statistic. 6. The Magic Tap asseenontv.com This is a device that aids in the transfer of liquid from a bottle to glass, an achievement otherwise accomplished by an arcane process known as "pouring." 7. The Inflatable Buffet asseenontv.com If you can explain how this an improvement over NOT putting a huge inflatable thing on your table, I will give you a cookie. 8. My Spoon & My Bowl asseenontv.com SELF-FEEDING.MADE.EASY. 9. The Pasta Boat asseenontv.com Making pasta is arguably the greatest challenge a cook can face. Boiling water? SUPER HARD. Dumping pasta into that water? EVEN HARDER. There has to be a better way. What's that, you say? A microwaveable plastic container that will probably leach weird plasticky chemicals into my pasta and then scald my hands when the lid comes off halfway through straining the pasta? SOLD. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com 10. The Cupcake Secret asseenontv.com "Cupcake Secret bakeware lets you bake a secret inside every cupcake you bake. Cupcake Secret’s hiding posts allow you to stick your favorite treat in the middle of your cupcake."* *Hiding posts = hidden metal spikes. In cupcakes. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com Such a good idea, basically foolproof in every way. 11. The Better Bagger asseenontv.com Dear purchaser of this item, may I ask you a quick question?WHO EVEN ARE YOU 12. The Bacon Wave Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com NONONOGET OUTMAKE YOUR BACON LIKE A NORMAL PERSON 13. Chips & Dips asseenontv.com Wake up, sheeple. This is going to END. IN. TEARS. 14. The Party Plate (And Beverage Holder!) asseenontv.com Every head turned as she walked into the room. "Who is she?" they whispered, awed by her great beauty and poise. "And where did she get that marvelous food and beverage receptacle?" 15. The Bottle Cap Buddy asseenontv.com "Keep those pesky bugs from spoiling your drink while you are outside with The Bottle Cap Buddy As Seen On TV. Think about it...... who wants to be swatting those creepy flying critters away from their drink every 10 seconds while trying visit with friends having a good time.Even still...who wants to swallow a beer bug with their drink and have to pour their drink out on the lawn since one or more of those nasty little critters have decided to party along with you while you buy the beer or whatever other alcohol beverage you are drinking !"Hahahaha what it's so weird it's like I never realized until right now that every beer I ever drank outside was FULL of insects, basically comprised mainly of insects with just a little beer to keep me fooled. Wow. 16. The Rotato Express Peeler Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com Why does this make me feel afraid? Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF oh gahhhhhhhd 17. The Rollie Eggmaster Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF ex-genius.tumblr.com / Via buzzfeed.com can you even Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF ex-genius.tumblr.com / Via buzzfeed.com help me With additional Useless Stuff Reporting by Sam Dean.