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My inside is like a ruthless medieval battle. As thousands of energies come charging at me to invade my soul with darkness, I stand alone to defend my existence.
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I feel the force that holds me down and proceeds to suck the life out of me. It’s a struggle, but I command myself to take a breath. I instantly feel like it was the wrong move as I suck in the debris from my broken heart. A gust of sorrow hits my gut. I’m uncomfortable, but still moving. Then, my worst enemy — The Brain — plants shadows on different areas of my spirit and sets them off one at a time so I can feel the full effect of each explosion on every part of my being. I’m weak. I’m falling. I want it to end, and the thought of not having to fight anymore brings me an unexpected amount of pleasure. I’m numb now, and suddenly I’m looking forward to the blast. I’m anticipating its sharp attack on me and I want it to obliterate me into nothingness.
The Brain has me where it wants me, and it’s about to pull the last trigger to end me. I briefly see the opening to the other side and I’m drawn to it, but something comes along and shuts the opening. It’s The Power. It lives in the crevices of my soul and it rarely shows itself, but when it does, its choices are definitive. “I’m not done” The Power says. It throws me back on the battlefield and makes me feel everything.
I inhale and it’s a little easier, but I’m not at full strength. It’s okay, because The Power is leading and and it doesn’t need to feel good at all times. The Power goes on no matter what. That’s what makes it badass. That’s what makes me badass.
I’m met with The Brain’s Army. They call themselves The Ugly. Pain, Self-loathing, Doubt, Hate and Fear are all lieutenants. They lead units of nasty negatives who seem to multiply by the day.
I only need one other leader on my team: Expression. The Power takes hold of Expression and makes me Goddess. I don’t even need to get fancy with my attack. I drown The Ugly into my art and I own it. I can’t kill those motherfuckers, but I can make them mine and that’s what I do. The Brain is now defenseless without its army of evildoers. So I invade its property and reprogram The Brain to do my bidding. It’s only then, and not a minute before that I allow The Good: Love, Beauty, Appreciation, Happiness and Peace. They lead units of spectaculars and they multiply by the day. However, they are not part of my army because they don’t fight for me. I fight for them.
And so with that, I win the battle. At least, for today. Another battle shall begin tomorrow.
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