Jo Calderone Apprehended!
Police in the Lower East Side of New York have finally captured the illusive JO CALDERONE, notorious bad kid Americano said to be the current heavy metal lover of Lady Gaga. Though nothing is confirmed, it is rumored that Calderone was arrested by an undercover officer dressed as a government hooker, whom Calderone was trying to solicit outside the famed East Side bar, the Electric Chapel.
Thurston Howell III Helps Hatch
Actual screenshot from yesterday's (July 11, 2011) Senate meeting on deficit reduction. Orrin Hatch uses a photo of the Gilligan's Island millionaire to help illustrate how raising taxes on the super rich will do little to help the U.S. deficit. Apparently, Mr. Howell never actually asked for the tax breaks in the first place, but has nonetheless used them to retire to a secluded island in the South Pacific with his "Lovey".