5 Fun Responsibilities For The New President (And Their Health And Safety Risks)

All eyes were on Washington last Friday as Donald Trump became the next President of the United States. We won’t debate politics here, but what we will do is take a light-hearted look at how Mr Trump should be wary of potential health and safety pitfalls whilst carrying out the more trivial aspects of the most important job in the world. Check out our list and the hazards associated with them below:

Throwing the first ball of the Major League Baseball season

Via Wikipedia

This tradition started in 1910 when then President William Howard Taft (no, us neither) threw the first pitch of the season at a Washington vs Philadelphia game. Of course Mr Trump is not a baseball pitcher – these guys can throw a baseball up to 105 miles per hour. Similarly, someone returning a baseball can hit it up to 123 miles per hou – so Mr Trump might want to duck or get one of those burly secret service agents to take his place. The risk of a wrist or arm injury can be prevalent if you don’t warm up properly, so Mr Trump should get practising, or risk a terrible (and painful) throw.

Pardoning a Thanksgiving Turkey

Via Mental Floss

Every year before Thanksgiving the current President will ‘pardon’ a farm-reared turkey, meaning instead of going onto the dinner plate, it is allowed to live out the rest of its days on a farm instead. The practice was first made a permanent part of the White House Thanksgiving formalities by George H W Bush in 1989, having been carried out intermittently previously. Mr Trump is not a vegetarian and enjoys a meatloaf sandwich (as well as eating pizza with a knife and fork - Really Mr Trump!!) – But we are sure he’ll enjoy this more gentle part of the job. Don’t forget the risks though – Thanksgiving Day sees more than double the amount of fires take place in the US than on any other day, along with estimates of $15 million property damage each year and various slips, trips and falls. Similarly, those turkeys sure know how to peck and cause havoc – we recommend Mr Trump takes care before getting too close to those often 40lb+ birds.

Rolling Easter Eggs

Via AP

Every Easter Monday, children aged 13 and under are invited to come and roll eggs with the President and the First Lady on the South Lawn of the White House. Very much a tradition since 1878, this also involves the President or First Lady reading a story to children too. It’s all about posture when rolling an egg on the grass: I am sure Mr Trump doesn’t want to give himself a sore back from pushing incorrectly (this information on posture should help). Similarly, let’s hope the eggs are hard boiled as the risk of salmonella is always an issue. And be sure not to cut yourself on an egg shell. Ouch! Maybe stick to the chocolate kind – he can always buy a bar of his Trump Chocolate,on sale at the Trump Tower cafe, for $4.75 – not egg shaped though much more Presidential.

Having Presidential pets

Via Presidential Pet Museum

One of the joys of having a 132 room house is the ability to fill it with pets! We love our animals here at Pro-Sapien, so we hope that Mr Trump keeps up the tradition of recent Presidents and fills the White House with various pets. President Obama famously has Bo and Sunny, two Portuguese Water Dogs, President Clinton had Socks the cat (see below)… even first President Abraham Lincoln had two goats (and 8 dogs and a donkey). According to Mr Trump’s spokeswoman Hope Hicks, “no decisions have been made” about pets. We’d suggest he sticks with something more traditional, as there are many risks in keeping exotic pets.

Lighting the National Christmas Tree

Via CBS

We have already covered the hazards that Santa has to face each Christmas Eve, and although having the most powerful job in the world is bound to be at least as stressful as the one Santa has, one of the more pleasurable jobs as President is lighting the National Christmas Tree. A tradition since 1923, the President lighting the tree is the beginning of the monthly long Pageant of Peace. Christmas has a lot of hazards associated with it, so we suggest Mr Trump brushes up on this list before flicking the switch. Of course, he has already appeared in one of the biggest (and best) Christmas movies of all time, Home Alone 2, which is as good a warm up as any: just avoid the Wet Bandits.