An Apology
This is something that I've been holding up for a while now. I know we haven't talked in weeks, but I would like to break this never ending silence. This sea of agony that is drowning me. I want our friendship to get back to where it was. I just wanted to apologize. For not being the best friend that you need, or the one you wish you had. I'm sorry that you got stuck with me. I'm sorry for not being more understanding even though I know I should be. Believe me, I know friendship isn't measured in how many pictures you have together or how many post you dedicate to each other. I know it's not who you spend the most time with, but who you have the best time with. And I wasn't mad or hurt because even after I told you what I thought and how I felt, you did nothing to fix it. No, I was hurt and kind of upset because you couldn't see why that was important to me. I don't mind that you spend time with new friends or that one of them believes she's your BEST friend. Because, I know that it's not true. What hurt was that me being your so called best friend , didn't feel loved or appreciated enough. You seemed more excited to see your new bestie than to see me. That's why it was important. Because we don't see each other everyday like you do with her and, it seemed as if you were more excited about spending time with her than with me. You started paying more attention to your friendship with her and for months I kept my mouth shut. Like a tree during autumn, I could do nothing more that just watch as my leaves (our friendship) fell apart and started taking a smaller place in your life. It hurt because it was the total opposite for me. The highlight of my week was to see you. Whenever I saw funny meme or something exciting happened, the first person I thought about sharing it with was you. I would get so excited to see you even if it was just for a couple of hours because you're my best friend! But, it felt like I was just another friend to you. That's what hurt. I felt like our friendship was finally coming to its expiration date. But, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making that so important to me, for feeling insecure. Most of all for letting small things like posts on instagram and Facebook get to me. I'm sorry I doubted our friendship and what I mean to you. I'm sorry. These past few weeks you have showed me that you would go to the end of the world or at least our country's border to see just for a little while! Thank you. You really have no idea how loved that makes me feel! You know I have a past with people walking out on me and leaving me broken hearted. So please, just be patient with me as I try to put myself together again. I love you.
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