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Top Ten Biggest Fictional Schlongs

Finally someone pored through all of fiction to quantify the ten biggest units mankind has dreamed up.

popten 13 years ago

Exclusive Interview With Super Mario Crossover Creator

Jay Pavlina, the creator of Super Mario Crossover, hates being interviewed. Somehow he granted us an exclusive one-on-one. He talks about his rabbit Squid, who would win in a fight between Mario and Simon Belmont, and gives us his top ten games. Here's one of my favorite excerpts: "Mario also has to watch out for Link’s upward thrust because if he jumps on Link’s sword, then Mario’s asshole is going to get a lot bigger. Link is tiny so he’s a small target for Mario’s jump, but I think after a few attempts, Mario’s fat ass would engulf that little Hylian. As long as he watches out for the boomerang and upward thrust, Mario can defeat Link as well and take his place as the 8-bit victor. Congratulations, Mario!"

popten 14 years ago

Top Ten Most Evil Dictators of All Time (in Order of Kill Count)

Some people make horrible decisions, others are just bad presidents, a few are bloodthirsty, many are extremists, a couple are warmongers, and all of these guys are a mix. Ten of our political leaders in the last 130 years have been the architects of the most horrific genocides, systematic murders, blockades, brutal wars, and policy reforms history has ever recorded. Where to begin? Maybe an icebreaker for you next dinner party? Did you know the word “genocide” was coined in 1943 to describe when the Armenians were slaughtered haphazardly by Turkish leader Ismail Enver? Until then there was no specific word for it in our language. It makes me think about how much more cognizant we’ve become in this last century to these events. So, a quick toast between you and I to a more peaceable future where less of what follows below is allowed to happen. Sit back, but don’t relax.

popten 14 years ago

Lost’s Final Episodes: My Top Ten Fears

Well, only six episodes to go. Some of my theories have been dramatically disproven, others are still flopping on the table, awaiting further evidence. It’s been a pretty good ride so far… but there have been almost as many questions as answers, and we have a scant six episodes left. I hope the Lost team can write their way out of their current predicament, but like millions of others, I am just a little worried. So I decided to face my nightmares, by compiling a list of my personal Top Ten Fears for the final run of my favorite show.

popten 14 years ago

Here's to 56 Years of Jackie Chan!

“Don’t try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie…. Study computers instead.” – Jackie Chan Today, 56 years ago, Jackie Chan decided to grace the world with his presence. I’d like to think that it went like this: the heavens opened up. Baby Jackie leapt, earthbound, onto the awning of a high-rise. Consequently, the awning splits forcing him to use his baby hands to grab a nearby rope and swing himself to safety. Landing on the back an unsuspecting bad guy and knocking him unconscious. Finally, he landed into his mother’s arms, cooing and ready to begin his life.

popten 14 years ago

Birdemic: Real Or Hoax?

James Nguyen, the writer and director of the unexpected cult hit Birdemic: Shock and Terror could very well be the real thing, or is he? 43 years old, a hobbyist director, working full time in silicon valley at tech start up PixLogic, and self-proclaimed master of his own genre: Romantic Thriller. Is Mr. Nguyen our generation’s Ed Wood whose “Plan 9 From Outer Space” became legendary for its defects?

popten 14 years ago