1. This is you when you set your eyes on a beautiful tub of cream cheese:
2. This is when you just like HEAR the phrase "cream cheese":
3. And this is what happens when someone tries to take the first schmear before you:
4. Or when someone tells you they don't, um, totally LOVE cream cheese:
5. This is you when you smell chive and onion cream cheese:
6. This is what you tell yourself when someone says you can't sneak cream cheese into every snack ever:
7. This is when you put cream cheese on lettuce:
8. And here's that feeling when you drop your perfectly manicured cream cheese snack on the floor:
9. And this is you when someone steals your veggie cream cheese spread from the office fridge:
10. This is you when you run out of multigrain crackers to spread your cream cheese on:
11. This is when someone says that strawberry cream cheese is for children:
12. Or when the store tells you they're out of blueberry:
13. And when someone suggests you put some cream cheese on your celery:
14. This is you when you head to the fridge and pray that you're not out of cream cheese:
15. And, lo and behold, it's there. And you cling to it and weep.
Snack on, young cream cheese lover. Snack on.