1. OK, pull yourself together.
2. You've got this. You've totally got this.
3. You've been practising for months – even your dad thinks you're ready.
4. And that's saying something. He thought you'd get a PhD before you pass your driving test.
5. Wow, Dad can be mean…
6. Look, it's just a driving test, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
7. You could fail. That's what.
8. I haven't got this. I've totally not got this…
9. PULL IT TOGETHER.
10. I'm calm, I'm calm... It's all good. We good.
11. Wow, she looks like she's had a bad morning.
12. Definitely got up on the wrong side of bed.
13. Should I crack a joke?
14. OOF, that bombed.
15. Should I flirt?
16. Nope, definitely no flirting – abort, abort.
17. Right, first step: Get out of the car park without hitting anything.
18. OK cool, this isn't too bad.
19. Check the mirrors here, indicate there…
20. I HATE ROUNDABOUTS.
21. OK, manoeuvre time. What has she got in store for me?
22. Oh, mighty driving test gods, please, oh please, no parallel parks.
23. If it means I don't have to perform one right now, I vow to live in an area where street parking is non-existent…
24. Oh great. A parallel park.
25. What have I done to deserve this?
26. She hates me. I can sense her deep-rooted hatred for my being.
27. Don't mess it up, don't mess it up….
28. How many wheel turns is it?!
29. ...
30. ...that actually went OK.
31. Damn, I'm good.
32. She can throw anything at me right now, and I'll ace it.
33. Go on, take me on a dual carriageway, I dare you.
34. Did she notice I was speeding?
35. It was only like, 5mph over the limit.
36. Is that fail-worthy? Am I going to fail?!
37. I can't fail, I told everyone that my test was today.
38. I'll never live this down. Maybe I'll make a run for it.
39. Go set up a shack selling watermelons on a beach somewhere far, far away.
40. I am so thankful for this traffic jam right now.
41. At this very moment traffic is my jam.
42. The driving test odds are in my favour.
43. Smashed it.
44. ONWARDS HOME... Well, back to the test centre.
45. Damn, she is really scribbling away there, isn't she?
46. Is it hot in here?! Like, I'm really hot right now.
47. Put me out of misery already, please, I beg of you.
48. PASSED, I BLOODY WELL PASSED.
49. BOOM – I'm going to Insta the hell out of this certificate.
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