Why Alien: Covenant Was Such A Bummer

Prometheus was a polarizing beginning to the Alien prequel series, but one that fans of the fictional universe could at least sink their teeth into. Despite some undeniable problems, it introduced so many cool details about the origins of the universe as well as the origins of Xenomorphs. So if nothing else, I was certain going into Alien: Covenant that it would provide some more fascinating insights into the universe. Unfortunately, I got no such thing - and I didn’t even get a well executed horror film.

There wasn’t a single death that was as cool as the c-section in Prometheus

The very first dude to die on the ship was pretty good, but no single death after that was anywhere as horrifying or creative as the Alien C-section or even the snake monsters crawling in and out of the scientists mouths in Prometheus.

The characters are like super dumb, so dumb it becomes a comedy

Hey maybe don’t stick your head into the disgusting alien egg mouth after the clearly evil robot man leads you into a dark cavern.

Michael Fassbender makes out with himself and wait actually maybe this movie is supposed to be a comedy…

This was the point when my entire audience started to laugh, and the point when I realized this movie was going to go beyond just mildly disappointing me.

It wasn’t scary in the slightest

The moments leading up to first major character death are actually pretty intense, with solid body horror and lots of close up and behind the shoulder camera work that built up fantastic tension. After that sequence, those techniques are never used again, and the film loses any sense of horror that it might have been going for.

Hey remember that fascinating race that created the entire universe? They all get wiped out before you get to learn anything else about them

It was so exciting to see the Engineer planet shown in the pre-release trailers for Covenant, and it was SUCH A BUMMER that we actually got to see anything about their society or history before they all get killed off.

There is so much wasted potential

The biggest bummer of all is how much cool stuff is in this movie that goes to waste. The juvenile all white xenomorphs are creepy and crazy looking! The film takes place in a massive alien civilization that could have at least given some insight into who the engineers were! Fassbender gives and amazing performance and his talents are wasted on such poor scripting! All I could think about after leaving the theatre was how many missed opportunities there were to do something truly special with this film.

I will inevitably end up seeing the next film in the franchise, because like Ridley Scott, I am incapable of learning from my mistakes

Kerry Brown / 20th Century Fox

These films still take place in such a fascinating world, and I’ll probably keep seeing them with the hope that Ridley Scott can eventually take advantage of the source material he was so instrumental in crafting.