16 Signs You’re Too Old For This Bar

What? I can’t hear you. WHAT?

1. You just want to have a nice conversation but every other word you say is “WHAT?”

2. Everything you say has to be reduced to easily barked phrases – “HOW’S WORK?” “OK.” “COOL!”

3. You don’t hear something right and pretend that you understand, but then get totally confused when that thing you didn’t get comes up again.

4. You try to flirt with someone but it all comes out wrong, or worse, it’s all totally misunderstood.

5. You feel a deep, visceral horror the moment the volume of the music goes from totally reasonable to PUNISHINGLY LOUD.

6. People you don’t want near you lean in way too close to hear what you’re saying.

7. You feel pressured to dance even if you really, really don’t want to be dancing.

8. You can’t understand why everyone else is having SO MUCH FUN when you can’t even concentrate.

9. You start zoning out and paying attention to the music instead of the people you’re supposed to be hanging out with.

10. The bartender gives you the wrong drink because they couldn’t hear your order.


11. You go hide in the bathroom in an attempt to get away from THE NOISE…

12. …but you are totally demoralized when it’s SOMEHOW EVEN LOUDER IN THERE.

13. You just start drinking more in the vain hope that it will make you feel less miserable.

14. Your ears start ringing the moment you leave the bar.

15. You KNOW your voice is going to be totally hoarse the next day.

16. You feel so, so old because you just want to go home where it’s nice and quiet.

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