People Who Let Their Potential Soulmate Walk Out Of Their Life Are Finally Confessing The "Missed Connection" Moment They'll Never Forget

"I still think about that kiss, and compare others to it from time to time."

Most people know what it's like to fall in love, or something like it, with a total stranger. And even more of us are familiar with the weight of regret when we don't even try to act on that spark — there's even a term for it: Missed connection.

Pernell Quilon

The gravity of "what if" tends to make these moments and fleeting instances of connection unforgettable. I was reminded of this when I asked readers about the missed connections they still think about. I wanted to give these real-life stories a visual, so I drew elements of these encounters and portraits of the people these romantics let walk away:

Internet, I hope you can help reunite these folks if it's meant to be.

1. They met in an escape room and her "young gay heart flipped":

Pernell Quion

"I work at an escape room in a big city, so I see lots of different guests every day. I don’t remember most, if any, of them. However, one day, a friend group on a girl’s trip came in that I distinctly remember. The ladies were all super fun, but one was running very late, which was pretty annoying since we couldn't start without her. I was sure I wasn't going to like her at all when she got there. When she did arrive, my young gay heart flipped. She was gorgeous.

I played it cool and tried to get the group in the room quickly so they would have their full time to play, while also trying to give myself enough time to chat her up. She was the liveliest and funniest of the group by far, and before they all went in, she gave me a huge high-five — a 'good luck charm', as she put it. That high five gave me more of a thrill than any other physical act ever in my life.

They escaped the room and, yet again, her firm high-five trapped me in her orbit. I so wanted to ask for her number, but I had never even dated another woman before. I was only recently out. So, I ended up chickening out. I also didn’t want to be that employee who asked out a customer, so I let them be in their merry way.

It's been a year since that encounter, and I can’t get over it. I don’t believe in soulmates, but I’ve never felt that kind of initial attraction to anyone before or since then."

—hollyb31

2. They shared a cab and a kiss — she's "looked for her at every women's event" since then:

Pernell Quilon

"I was at a women's dance party, and hailed a taxi cab to head home. Another woman shared the cab with me because she was going the same way. We started flirting in the cab. When the cab got to my place, I invited her in, but she said no. So, we kissed goodnight, and I got out of the cab. 

Her name was Kim. I looked for her at every women's event I went to for the next couple of months, but I never saw her again."

—irisg2

3. They met 20,000 feet in the air. He offered her gummy bears, and suddenly she "was in a rom-com":

Pernell Quilon

"We met about 20,000 feet over the Sonoran Desert. It was early January in 2018. I was flying back to Arizona after visiting my family for the holidays. I'd recently moved across the country for a job in Yuma and was still getting used to being so far away from home. 

On my connecting flight from Phoenix, I was seated next to an attractive guy around my age. The plane was small, and I think he could tell I was a nervous flyer. He struck up a conversation with me via the Notes app on his phone because we couldn’t hear each other over the noise of the plane’s engines. 

He told me that he was a marine and that he was on his way back to the base after spending the holidays with his family in Texas. He offered to share his snack that he had bought in the airport with me. I typed that I'd share mine with him in return. We both pulled out our snacks. We'd both bought gummy bears. I felt like I was in a rom-com. 

When we got off the plane, he seemed to disappear. I still wonder if the universe was trying to set me up with my future husband, and I ruined it by not having the nerve to ask for his number. I hope he’s doing well." 

—Anonymous, 28, Arizona

4. She got kicked out of the club. He was "an angel that night," and hugged her while she cried:

Pernell Quilon

"I got thrown out of a club after I removed my heels for a minute because my feet were hurting so bad. It was -10°C outside (14°F for you Americans), and I asked the bouncer if I could at least get my coat. He literally threw me and was extremely aggressive toward me. My friend had my phone, so I was helpless.

This guy saw the whole scene and begged the bouncer to stop. Then, he gave me his coat, hugged me while I cried, and let me borrow his phone to DM all of my friends. The bouncer wouldn't even let him in the club to look for my friends. He waited for an hour with me until my friends finally pieced together that I was outside. 

I never got his name, and I couldn't thank him properly cause I was bawling my eyes out. He was an angel that night and I often think about him."

—zabster

5. She took a detour. After "a semester abroad spent exploring alone," she found exactly what she was looking for:

Pernell Quilon

"In the final days of my semester abroad in London in 2017, I was walking through Kensington district on a self-guided architecture tour. I decided to 'feel' my way home and didn’t use a map, which led me to a pink coffee shop on a small street. It had no signage, no menus, nothing — except an open door. I never do this, but I walked in. 

No one was inside but the barista. He said there was no menu, but he could make anything I wanted. I asked for a latte and he said sure. I could tell he was an American like me, and after a semester where I was often exploring alone and not making a lot of connections, I asked him if he was from the States. He said yes — he arrived the week prior and was staying at a hostel around the corner after dropping out of UT Austin. 

He was honest and told me he ran away from his life in Austin because he was lost and felt he’d regret not traveling when he was still young. I loved his spirit. I told him a bit of my story too, and how I was leaving in a few days, but that I would come back. He said he was looking forward to making a new friend. 

The place was so out of my neighborhood, but I was determined to go back every day before I left just to know him better. But the next few days got unexpectedly busy, and I never went back. That's my biggest regret. 

I hope he’s well and that he found what he was looking for."

—Anonymous, California

6. It was the holidays, and he gave her the gift of a "kiss she often compares others to":

Pernell Quilon

"I kissed someone I had met at a holiday party this bar was throwing. It was by far one of the best kisses I’ve had. We never exchanged info, even though he wanted to. There were no cell phones at the time. 

I’m not looking to find him or anything, but I do still think about that kiss and compare others to it from time to time."

—panda_13

7. They were drawn to each other. But she was with family. So, she left him "standing awkwardly" at the top of the staircase:

Pernell Quilon

"I saw him during our family holiday in Istanbul. We were eating at a small local restaurant where you had to climb this cute staircase just to access it. The restaurant was small, and I immediately noticed this one waiter — I actually caught him staring. He was gorgeous, looked to be slightly older than me. As he moved around, we kept catching one another's eyes. He wasn't our waiter, but when there was a problem with the bill, he offered to come sort it out. 

As we left the restaurant, I turned to look back once I was at the bottom of the stairs, and saw him near the top. He was standing awkwardly, as if he had half the mind to catch up to me. I was so hesitant to talk to him in front of my parents, even though I was very much old enough that they wouldn't have minded. That was four years ago, and he still crosses my mind occasionally. 

The funny thing is two years ago, I was talking to my mother about this experience and she said she remembered that waiter, and noticed the vibe between us, too."

—annienava

8. They drunkenly sang karaoke together. In the morning, she was gone. But "her sunglasses were on the nightstand":

Pernell Quilon

"I was bar-hopping with my friends in New York in 2019 when we came to a gay bar with karaoke. After a few rounds, I decided to get up on the stage and started sing a song by girl in red. Another girl stepped up onto the stage and —this actually happened — a duet ensued. For a grand finale flourish, we kissed. 

We started talking after this and really clicked. She had long, blonde hair, and was wearing a short blue dress that was loose around her thighs. She was wearing star-shaped sunglasses tinted pink. I was in a Pixies shirt and my leather jacket, and I have shoulder-length brown hair. We looked good together. 

We eventually lost track of my friends and started bar-hopping — just us two. 

The rest of the night was a blur, but I remember certain moments: A drinking contest with a guy who challenged my musical knowledge, making out with her in an empty bathroom, and for some reason, meeting Samuel L. Jackson. 

I woke up in a crappy hotel room, and she was gone. Her sunglasses were on the nightstand, though. I still have them."

—Anonymous, 27, Maryland

9. They were on the same bus, and every shared glance "felt like warm butter spread onto perfectly toasted bread":

Pernell Quilon

"It was 2022, and I was on a bus in Brisbane City. This guy boarded and sat right across from me. I would look at him and he'd be looking at me, or he'd look at me and I'd be looking at him. Each glance and every little spark of interaction felt like warm butter being smoothly spread onto perfectly toasted bread on a Saturday morning while I rewatched one of my favorite comfort movies. 

He had big round brown eyes that drew me in. It's almost as though we were trying to communicate with each other through our eyes. 

After a while, he got off the bus. As the bus drove away, that was the last time I saw him. There was something there. I'm so upset I didn't take a chance."

— Anonymous, 17, Queensland, Australia

10. Maybe it was love, or maybe it was Lush — either way, her "poor gay ass just stood there":

Pernell Quilon

"Several years ago, I flew to Texas to visit my best friend and he took me to Lush for the first time. One of the saleswomen started talking to me almost immediately. 

She was super enthusiastic about helping me find something I liked. She ended up demonstrating a salt scrub on me and my poor gay ass was just standing there while a cute tattooed girl literally massaged my hand and arm. I just assumed she could tell I'd never been to Lush before, and did that with a lot of new customers.

But on the drive home, my best friend said, 'You know she was flirting with you, right?' 

Yeah...I think about that a lot."

—ljvincent

11. He was a boy. She was a lesbian. Can I make it any more obvious? It was the only time she felt "so at peace" with a man:

Pernell Quilon

"First off, I'm a lesbian. In 2016 in Illinois, my friend drove me to this house party where I knew absolutely no one else. I was talking to people and just enjoying the vibe. There was one guy at this party who I was so drawn to. We talked and talked all night. 

It was summer, so we went outside and laid in the grass in the backyard and looked at the stars while telling each other about our lives. I was so interested in him and keep in mind, I'm a lesbian. We were so at peace. I felt so comfortable around a man for the first time in my life. 

Suddenly, someone ran outside and said, 'The cops are here!' Everyone started scrambling. He and I ran to the front yard holding hands and laughing. I stopped, looked at him, and we kissed. Intensely. 

Then, my friend appeared and grabbed me to run to the car.

He held my hand and said, 'Maybe I'll see you again in this life.' Then, he let go, and my friend dragged me to the car. 

I never got his name or number or anything. I have never had feelings for a man, and the one guy I felt comfortable with, I will never see again."

—Anonymous, 25, Illinois

12. The subway doors opened, and it was "almost magical" the way he looked at her. But they were headed opposite ways:

Pernell Quilon

"I just turned 20. It was 2010 in New York City, and I had just gone out to a club for the first time in my life. I was wearing a pale blue shirt, a black and white striped miniskirt, black sheer tights, a black blazer, and black booties. It sounds funky, but I was really feeling myself.

My friends and I hopped on the subway at the end of the night. I was going to spend the night at my friend's place so I was on a train that I wouldn't normally take. I wish I could recall what station we were stopped at when I saw him. 

He was standing on the opposite platform, and during the two minutes my train had come to a stop, we made eye contact. 

Then, he smiled at me. 

There was something sort of sweet about the way he looked at me. It was exciting, almost magical, but just as quickly as we looked up at each other the train started pulling away from the station. I remember him staring after me as we took off and soon after he was out of sight, gone forever. 

It's been about 12 years since then. I honestly wouldn't even recognize him if I saw him on the streets. All I remember is that he was Asian, and wearing a white shirt with a black jacket. But that brief moment of connection and instance of attraction created a lovely little 'what if' memory that I still think about occasionally — what could have happened if we'd just been going the same way home?"

—Anonymous, 31, New York

13. She was "newly single and bi-curious." And the universe delivered:

Pernell Quilon

"It happened a year ago, and she still pops into my mind. I was newly single and bi-curious. I ordered some candies to be delivered. I went outside to meet the delivery person. This blonde woman got out of her car, and we instantly connected. The whole time we were talking, we were both smiling and blushing.

I don’t usually make friends easily or open up easily, but something about this encounter was different. 

She opened her trunk and I told her how awesome it was that she had a cooler handy for her deliveries, and she said 'I’m Italian. We're prepared.' I laughed so hard, probably harder than I should have. We stayed there for a few seconds. Then, I walked back to my house. 

The minute I walked inside, regret hit me. I opened my door to go back outside and ask for her number, but she had already left. I keep ordering from the same service just to see if she will be my driver again — so far, no dice."

—katelynk4907bdf96

14. They were on a hike. The scent of "pine and his cologne settled on him like morning dew," and it changed his life:

Pernell Quilon

"I met this guy out in Denver when I was staying with my sister. He was staying with his brother and both of us realized we were planning on doing the exact same hike in the area so we decided to do it together. I’m aware that he could have murdered me (or me him), but gay men do crazy shit.

We had instant chemistry. I felt more comfortable with him than with some people I’ve known for years. We were so distracted from laughing, telling stories, and singing to favorite songs in the car that we missed our exit multiple times.

The hike itself was incredible. We basked in the morning light as easily as each other’s company. Pockets of shade marked with stillness and silence contrasted with the bright streaks of laughter and excited stories. Nothing felt forced.

At the end of the hike was a multi-tiered waterfall. We climbed to the top and found a quiet grove of trees. We lay curled together on a blanket enveloped by the sounds of tumbling water and birdsong, the scent of pine and his cologne settling on me like morning dew. We kissed and talked, bodies intertwined like the vines and roots and ferns and fallen logs of the forest floor, a seemingly chaotic jumble that somehow just fits together.

We stayed out as long as we could before growing too hungry and heading home. He was headed to New York the next day and I was leaving for Madrid in a week. He didn’t have any social media, so we exchanged numbers and continued our long chats and even called each other on the phone. But our lives were pulled in different directions and phone numbers changed.

I still think about it to this day because for one day, I felt seen and understood and that I was worthy of being loved by someone smart and fun and attractive and kind. So, I still hold onto that feeling even in the worst of dating because he made me feel like every inch of my being was exactly as it needed to be. 

Nothing more. Nothing less."

—excuse_your_mouth

15. She cried on the L train. Outside, "he mouthed, 'You ok?' And it was enough for her to breathe and wipe her tears away:

Pernell Quilon

"I was having a really tough day, and was on the L train. I'd just been rejected from the one out-of-state college I'd applied to, and was on the phone with my mom. As soon as we hung up, I started crying. 

I tried to cry quietly, but I was at my limit. I had my head in my hands sitting in the subway car. 

I looked up and out the window to the platform, and locked eyes with a guy who had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. He mouthed, 'You ok?' And it struck me as rare. 

I’ve lived in New York my entire life. Everyone here minds their own business. I tried to hurriedly wipe my tears, and nodded while the train pulled away. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but we had pulled into the tunnel. I never saw him again after that.

Subway Man, I think about you a lot. Thank you for reminding this random stranger that there’s good in the world, and that someone cares."

— Anonymous, New York

16. They spent the entire concert "singing to each other" across the room. Three days later, the universe reunited them:

Pernell Quilon

"I have a super shit memory, but this...this I will never forget. In 2019, I went to Boston for a summer internship. I made work my life, so I spent most of my time at the office. But then one day, I decided I should get out more during the week.

It was a cool summer night when I received the invite and location from a SoFar gig — they basically throw secret concerts they reveal the details for right before it happens. It was in a quaint, cozy clothing store, and we were all seated on the ground. I scanned the room and noticed a quiet blonde sitting opposite from me. She caught me looking at her, and sent a soft smile in her direction. I sent one back. Then, the music started.

When the last act came on, she asked us to look at anyone in the room, repeat her lyrics, and sing to that person. I looked to the woman from earlier — she was already looking at me. We laughed, spent the rest of night singing to one another, and then lost track of each other when the event ended.

Three days later, I was walking past the Boston Public Library on Copley Square and saw the woman from the show. We walked towards each other smiling and she was like, 'Aren't you the girl from that night?' I said yes, and we fell right into conversation. She told me her name and a bit about herself, and I told her about me. The whole time my heart was racing and my face was flushed. I don't usually get like that so it was so weird. 

She said she was done with whatever she had to do at the library and was going home then asked what I was doing. I can't remember where I was headed, but I told her. There was an awkward two seconds after I mentioned it. Then, we parted ways. My biggest regret is not inviting her.

And that was that. We didn't have a chance to exchange numbers, social media accounts, or anything. I was seeing someone at the time so it did fall off on my end, even though our connection could've remained platonic. 

I still think about Sasha. Almost four years later and oceans apart, I still think about her smile, her stunning posture, and how small yet big the world is."

—Anonymous, 25, Beirut, Lebanon

What's your own romantic missed connection you still think about to this day? Share your story in the comments, or through this Google form if you'd like to include your contact info, and I might draw a portrait of your missed connection for a future post.

Also, if you're reading this post and feel like you or someone you know could be one of these people's missed connections, please PLEASE get in contact with me if you're interested in reconnecting. 

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.