11 Surefire Ways To Get Your Ass Out Of Bed

    New Year's resolution: Stop being a lazy slacker and start being a REAL PERSON.

    1. Get a diabolical money-shredding alarm clock.

    2. Make a pact with a set of co-workers: If you don't make it to work on time, you have to pay them each $1.

    3. Install an app that forces you to solve a math problem before it shuts off.

    4. Amplify your phone alarm by placing it in a glass.

    5. Bonus: Keep the alarm on the opposite side of the room.

    6. Set a song you absolutely loathe as your wake-up song.

    7. Drink a bunch of water before you go to bed so you'll have to pee in the morning.

    8. Get a Clocky, the alarm clock that runs away when you press snooze.

    9. Get a pet.

    10. Start reading your email once your alarm goes off.

    11. Resort to thinking of yourself as a dog.