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Are You Actually A Recent Graduate?

These things never lie, unlike all those teachers who told you adulting would be fun.

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1. GRADUATION

Via giphy.com

The bittersweet taste of finishing an agonizing couple years but also not knowing what the heck you're doing with the rest of your life (or you do know cause you're a pro-adult already).

  1. You know what to do...check off the statements that apply to you. You poor confused soul.

    Check
    You recently graduated from college/university
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    You've been asked at least once "what's next?"
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    You've been asked at least five times
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    You've been asked so many times that it's hard to control your facial expressions when someone asks
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    You still aren't sure that it's all ACTUALLY done yet
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    You have nightmares of group projects
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    Of papers
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    Of sleepless nights because JARED couldn't put his share of contribution into the assignment
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    You've applied to so many post-grad jobs you've lost count
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    You get told at least once a day that "everything will work out"
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    You also get asked at least once a day if you've even been applying for jobs
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    You buy avocados instead of houses, you millennial trash
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    You use student discounts still cause you're in denial
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    You sometimes wonder when it's no longer acceptable to eat KD as a meal
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    You'd rather just invite people over instead of going to your typical bars because you feel old
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    Also youths are annoying
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    You've actually turned into an old man
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    You've accepted that you might actually have to start adulting now
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    You wonder how adults make friends
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    People around you are consistently getting engaged and having kids
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    You wonder if your degree/diploma/certificate was the right one to get
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    NO JANET I STILL DON'T HAVE A REAL JOB YET OKAY
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    You blow through entire Netflix series in a day because you have nothing better to do
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    You've started looking at Master's programs because you already miss school
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    Also because it might be better to take on more debt instead of facing adulthood
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    But you got a C- in that one elective so you're limited to where will accept you
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    You're dreading that 6 month mark because you'll have to start paying back your student loans
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    You wonder if the government will accept IOUs
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    You wonder why entry level jobs require 5 years of experience
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    You wonder why you couldn't have just invented the next Facebook and gotten super rich
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    While you sit and eat a pint of ice cream to yourself
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    It's kind of rad not having to have all that responsibility anymore
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    Like hey maybe you can finally learn to play the guitar
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    Learn a new language
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    Or get a dog
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    Who are you kidding, you're gonna just keep watching Netflix
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    And probably sleep in until 11
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    But then the dread of adulting sets in, maybe you start getting up at 8 instead
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    And then you eventually get an adult job (LOL who trusts you with that kind of responsibility)
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    And hey you'll probably hang around campus as THAT alumnae member
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    But it's fine, this is what someone who's $50k in debt does right?
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    You realize that you are already out of touch with what is "cool"
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    Everyone is already starting to move on
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    And move away
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    So you start worrying that you'll end up forever alone, in debt
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    But you start thinking of all the memories you made in your time in school
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    And how this is just another chapter of your life
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    So maybe things aren't so bad after all
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    Having an adult job means you can probably afford to fly to visit all the friends who moved away
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    And hey, getting a degree/diploma/certificate is a pretty big accomplishment
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    You actually have a sense of pride for yourself
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    Maybe adulting isn't so bad
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    #patiobeers to avoid responsibility
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    Hey now you can actually focus on losing the freshman 15
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    Which was more like freshman 40 but who's counting?
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    Okay it was like the entire degree weight gain
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    You're in a state of unknown
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    But everyone in your shoes feels the same
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    So you can breathe a little better that nobody really actually knows what they are doing
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    And hey, you made a ton of lasting friendships.
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