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Are You Actually A Recent Graduate?

These things never lie, unlike all those teachers who told you adulting would be fun.

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The bittersweet taste of finishing an agonizing couple years but also not knowing what the heck you're doing with the rest of your life (or you do know cause you're a pro-adult already).

  1. You know what to do...check off the statements that apply to you. You poor confused soul.

    You recently graduated from college/university
    You've been asked at least once "what's next?"
    You've been asked at least five times
    You've been asked so many times that it's hard to control your facial expressions when someone asks
    You still aren't sure that it's all ACTUALLY done yet
    You have nightmares of group projects
    Of papers
    Of sleepless nights because JARED couldn't put his share of contribution into the assignment
    You've applied to so many post-grad jobs you've lost count
    You get told at least once a day that "everything will work out"
    You also get asked at least once a day if you've even been applying for jobs
    You buy avocados instead of houses, you millennial trash
    You use student discounts still cause you're in denial
    You sometimes wonder when it's no longer acceptable to eat KD as a meal
    You'd rather just invite people over instead of going to your typical bars because you feel old
    Also youths are annoying
    You've actually turned into an old man
    You've accepted that you might actually have to start adulting now
    You wonder how adults make friends
    People around you are consistently getting engaged and having kids
    You wonder if your degree/diploma/certificate was the right one to get
    You blow through entire Netflix series in a day because you have nothing better to do
    You've started looking at Master's programs because you already miss school
    Also because it might be better to take on more debt instead of facing adulthood
    But you got a C- in that one elective so you're limited to where will accept you
    You're dreading that 6 month mark because you'll have to start paying back your student loans
    You wonder if the government will accept IOUs
    You wonder why entry level jobs require 5 years of experience
    You wonder why you couldn't have just invented the next Facebook and gotten super rich
    While you sit and eat a pint of ice cream to yourself
    It's kind of rad not having to have all that responsibility anymore
    Like hey maybe you can finally learn to play the guitar
    Learn a new language
    Or get a dog
    Who are you kidding, you're gonna just keep watching Netflix
    And probably sleep in until 11
    But then the dread of adulting sets in, maybe you start getting up at 8 instead
    And then you eventually get an adult job (LOL who trusts you with that kind of responsibility)
    And hey you'll probably hang around campus as THAT alumnae member
    But it's fine, this is what someone who's $50k in debt does right?
    You realize that you are already out of touch with what is "cool"
    Everyone is already starting to move on
    And move away
    So you start worrying that you'll end up forever alone, in debt
    But you start thinking of all the memories you made in your time in school
    And how this is just another chapter of your life
    So maybe things aren't so bad after all
    Having an adult job means you can probably afford to fly to visit all the friends who moved away
    And hey, getting a degree/diploma/certificate is a pretty big accomplishment
    You actually have a sense of pride for yourself
    Maybe adulting isn't so bad
    #patiobeers to avoid responsibility
    Hey now you can actually focus on losing the freshman 15
    Which was more like freshman 40 but who's counting?
    Okay it was like the entire degree weight gain
    You're in a state of unknown
    But everyone in your shoes feels the same
    So you can breathe a little better that nobody really actually knows what they are doing
    And hey, you made a ton of lasting friendships.

Are You Actually A Recent Graduate?

Do you even go here? Okay maybe you still go here? Where is here? We have a lot of unanswered questions, but that's okay, you'll get there one day. Keep pushing. But enjoy the ride.

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Oh you poor lost soul. It's okay, things do actually get better - or so we've heard. The cool thing about being graduated though is you can actually go be a real adult - which hear us out sounds scary AF, but you will be making mad stacks eventually. Until then, go have a drink, and be in a sweet state of denial that it's over now (unless grad school?) my child.

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