We Discovered The Three Keys To Being Named The World's Most Beautiful Woman By People Magazine
In three easy steps.
Because to be beautiful is to be featured in an annual list compiled by a super definitive and not-at-all subjective magazine.
And being the MOST beautiful woman in the whole entire WORLD means being No. 1 on said list.
So, what's a person gotta do to land this illustrious title?
Only THREE things, apparently.
1. Be famous.
2. Be a woman.
(But brunette is cool too, tho.)
3. Be white.
Like most lists, there are exceptions.
Exception 1: Be black — but only if you're the first black woman to ever win an Oscar for Best Actress...
...or one of the very few black actresses to ever win an Academy Award for Supporting Actress.
Or, if you're Beyoncé ~Fucking~ Knowles.
Exception 2: Be Latina — but only if you're one of the world's most influential, history-making triple-threat performers of all time.
Exception 3: Be a white man — but only if you're one of the highest paid actors of all time.
So, in summary, to be crowned the world's most beautiful woman by People magazine is to be a really famous straight white lady.
When in doubt, just be Jennifer Aniston or Michelle Pfeiffer.
Or, even better, be Julia Roberts, a record FIVE-TIME winner and ipso facto the MOSTEST beautiful woman in the whole wide world.
Pretty simple, right?
Oops! Julia Roberts was named People's "Most Beautiful Person" for the fourth time in 2010. A previous version of this post misstated the date.