82 Thoughts I Had While Watching The "Insecure" Season Three Premiere
From broken p***y to dry p***y, somethings never change.
1. YASSS!!! The episodes finally up on HBO GO! Back at it again with the dope soundtrack. My God I missed this show.
2. Ofc it wouldn’t be Insecure without some man bootycheeks.
3. DAMNNN DANIEL!!!!!!! O_O
4. OMG Issa's one room over!!! I see Daniel’s still petty as ever! Judging from her face, she's pissed at the (disrespectfully loud) fucking and/or bitter it's not her? Prolly little of both
5. Silk scarf sighting #1 (I just really appreciate this show for that very small, but very real detail.)
6. Sooo she’s really crashing on the couch? I wonder how much time has passed since she moved in…
7. Okay Issa's a Lyft driver. Is she still at We Got Y’all though? My guess is yes and she’s making extra money to get up outta Daniel’s place. Good for you girl!
8. Meanwhile, Molly’s out here on the beach living her best bougie lawyer salary life and I am NOT mad at it. I never forgot about the Morocco trip she planned to go on with Issa. Glad she’s finally traveling by herself. TREAT YO’ SELF GIRL.
9. “You gotta visa?” “Ummm I’m from Cincinnati” Why is Molly so damn RUDE!? LMAO
10. Awww yes, Mirror Bitch time! Dammit, she got interrupted by Daniel. Okay it’s his bathroom fine whatever.
11. Ugh Issa's miserable co-workers still dusty as always. Lord I hope Issa gets free from this soul-sucking non-profit. I’m getting second hand anxiety just watching her tread through the bullshit. (Side note: YES UPDO! Felicia Leatherwood is an ARTISTE.)
12. UGHHHHHH here we go with Frieda -_- She acts like she’s Issa’s work friend, but she’s never willing to stand up for her. Yes, Issa was completely wrong for how she handled that racist principal (yes, I called the black principle racist..I said what I said), but Frieda NEVER calls out her co-workers when they’re having those secret white meetings/emails and talking shit about Issa.
13. IS THAT DAWN RICHARD?!!?! COME ON CAMEO!
14. “It don’t matter how she sound, you can fix all that.” Why do I feel like this is a true life overheard convo from a recording studio?
15. Her loud-ass pants! But wait what are these dance movesss!!! I’m cryingggg. Dawn is so funny. I wanna see more of her on TV.
16. FINALLY. Molly and Issa together again <3 Can we please have a moment for their gorgeous melanted skin?! Like damn!
17. From broken pussy to dry pussy, somethings never change LMAO!
18. Okay so two weeks have passed since last season.
19. Call from “Dro.” Mhmmmm (Side note: Molly’s cornrows are perfection.)
20. “BLOOP.” “BLEEP.” “BLAMMM.” Molly's so extra and I love it.
21. “I feel like my whole life is on some tip-toe shit right now. Like I can’t speak up about anything.” This has been a running theme with Issa for the past two seasons. The only time she speaks up is when she’s alone in front of a bathroom mirror. I feel a glow up coming really, really soon.
22. Also, we need a flashback to find out WTF actually happened to said vase (The way they did with Carol and Barb and that “glass of ice/classifieds” story in Orange Is The New Black).
23. Maxineeee!!!!!! Bill Bellamyyyy!!!! LOLOL YESSSS!!!! I didn’t know how they were gonna top MY show Due North, but these 90's cameos already won me over.
24. “Do I smell bougie pigeon?” What in the??? I’M DED.
25. I’m digging this character development with Daniel. Oooooh who’s Vanessa?
26. LOLOL the way she knocked Jada’s head back down. Memories!
27. I can't with Daniel and this "Spanish Guitar" scene.
28. “I notice shit. I’m observant.” Issa's flirt game is OD corny but also super cute.
29. “Why are you here?” And here we go…
30. DO NOT CLOSE YOUR EYES, ISSA!!!
31. OMGOGMOGMGOMGOMG!!! ABORT!!! ABORT!!!
32. Yes come on Issa wit the "Rihanna at the VMAs" swerve. Look at my girl knowing AND doing better!!!
33. Oooh she hit him w/ the “you’re close to work”. PERIOD.
34. All drama aside, Issa got some good willpower because Daniel is FOINE. I can't even lie about that.
35. “These glasses are so heavy…I’m tired. Is it daylight savings time? Did that happen already?” Girl whet?!? She’s in true awkward black girl form tonight.
36. Annnnd from one “it’s hella complicated” situation to another we’ve got Dro and Molly.
37. GASP!!! So Dro’s wife DOES know!!! See now I want more details on their boundaries and guidelines (or lack thereof...).
38. Molly, we ALL knew what this was so stop it. YOU need to figure out what YOU’RE doing. Cuz Dro and even his wife (maybe?) seem crystal clear about what’s happening.
39. Wooooow. This logo IS kinda racist. The white hand? The black kids? Dayuuuum. And these other points about Issa being the only black person on the staff? ON POINT. I hope she starts her own non-profit, cuz We Got Y’all has always been out of touch.
40. Oh lord Joanne would have that big ass Beyoncé concert poster. Ugh she's not even on screen yet and I'm already tight!
41. I see you Another Round and The Read!
42. AWHELLNAGHHHHH!!! See what we’re NOT gonna do, Joanne, is yelling at my girl for trying to help out YOUR dusty-ass non-profit. And look who’s sitting there just wide-eyed and guilty-looking…Frieda of course -_______-
43. QUIT ISSA!!! LEAVE THESE WHITE FOLKS. PERIODT. (Aw damn we both know she can’t. She needs that money so she can leave Daniel’s place. Whyyyy! v_v)
44. No, no friendship calls. No celebrations. WE don’t have to do NOTHING. STAWP IT, DRO. Go home to your wife.
45. Don't do it, Molly. Don't do it…Aw hell.
46. Silk scarf sighting #2. Cheetah print. Insecure is for and by black women.
47. Molly, don't judge her for working for Lyft. You know she needs money come on now. But also, Issa, didn't someone just throw up in your car like yesterday? Can you even really be mad?
48. “DAMNNN DANIEL!! Back at it agin with the fucking” LMAOOOO 100%.
49. “I hope it’s a fine nigga driving. I wanna be a Twitter story” BAHAHAHAHA the writing on this show is everything.
50. Wait…Is she vaselining her toes in the back seat??? Helppp I’m not okay! But alsoooo, same.
51. This car ride is the best Lyft commercial that never existed.
52. Why does Issa insist on texting and driving tho. Isn’t this how she fucked up her car last season?! Looking at a dick pic???
53. YESSSS to this actor whose name I forgot. He's on HTGAWM and looks like Jeremy Meeks’ brother.
54. Your ass knows damn well you made the cut!!!
55. LOL at all these low-key texts.
56. TWO?!?! You gon' take one Capri Sun and be happy. Oh now we’re being choosy about the flavor?! If he don’t shut his ungrateful ass up!
57. “Oh you BAWSY. I likes that.” This line took me OUT. (Side note: Anybody else thought of the iconic “You bute AND you thick” line after this?? LMAO)
58. Y’ALL THIS NINJA'S ROLLING A BLUNT.
59. AND NOW HE’S SMOKING THE BLUNT.
60. *RECORD SCRATCH* BITCHES?!?!
61. GASP!!! That was sexy how he threw the blunt out the window, but now he's gonna get his ass beat…
64. Wait did "little man" fuck up "big man"?!?! WELPPPP! Life comes at you fast.
65. That was the blackest Lyft ride in the history of Lyft rides.
66. “Oh my bad I uh fell asleep. I forgot.” Daniel is such a big baby.
67. Yes Issa!! Loving this open, honest communication. Let's do it.
68. “But Daniel don’t act all innocent like you don’t know what you’re doing.” As Molly would say, "BLOOP!!!" (Side note: Where are those extensions from Issa cuz that texture is kayute!)
69. Whoever the cinematographer is knows how to light black people like a mug! Everyone on this show stays glowy AF.
70. Silk scarf sighting #3.
71. UGH MOLLY IS SO STUNNING
72. Molly, sit your ass down and set those boundaries right NOW.
73. BLOOP! Get that key girl.
74. I'm living for Molly and Issa finally asking for what the fuck THEY want.
75. “FIRST OF ALL…” Oooh that bass in Dro's voice tho O_O He’s big mad.
76. “I know I want my key back!” BLAMM!
77. Knee too? Black wives matter? LMAO this show’s a damn mess. But wait was the first episode the original Kev'Yn and this is the reboot? Cuz Lil Chris looks grown as hell.
78. Why do I keep expecting Lawrence's ass to pop up??? Ughhhh I still feel him in the air…
79. Look at Issa's pretty dainty Africa earrings! Ayanna Kimani is the BEST costume designer on TV right now, don’t @ me (update: Ayanna and her team did all the styling for season 1 and 2 and the first four episodes of season 3 before leaving to style the MTV VMAs.)
80. I’m glad Issa and Daniel seem to be in a better place now post-talk, but I really wish she’d stay somewhere else. This cannot be healthy.
81. I see you Issa. Go make some money so you can get up out that house!
82. That was a good pilot. Setting a tone for possible growth. Hella intrigued.