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Can We Guess Your Go-To Drunk Food?

¡Olé! You love to top off los noches locos with the best rolled-up meal around. Usually you opt for the frozen, microwavable kind, but you’ve been known to hit a real-life taqueria or two. You like efficient meals. You want the most bang for your bite. You probably have a thing for hot sauce too.

Taquitos

But of course! It’s practically God’s greatest gift to humanity! Just reading the word already has your mouth watering for a tasty, tasty, soak-it-up slice. You know the best nightcap in the world arrives at your doorstep from a (seemingly attractive!) pizza delivery person. Keep ordering your pies. Always opt for the large.

Pizza

It’s late, you don’t want to spend money, you’ve got a complete (and reasonably healthy?) meal in the freezer, you have to work out in the morning... The choice is obvious. You feel a sense of pride in being able to read the directions, peel back the plastic, stab a few fork holes in it, slam the microwave shut, press some buttons, and try not to fall asleep while it’s cooking.

Microwavable Meal

Whether it’s super sugary or somewhat healthy, if it’s in your pantry when you get home, you are eating it. Sometimes you’ll have your cereal with milk in a bowl (or a cup, if all the bowls are in the sink) while other nights, you’re good with just shoveling dry handfuls of it in your mouth’s general direction. Either way, you’re waking up covered in cereal.

Cereal

They can be those gooey bar nachos with that good-ass guac, the questionable gas station variety with a side of piping-hot neon cheese substance, or a huge bag of no-frills chips bought at the grocery store. Bottom line: if they’re nachos, your bad, drunk self is eating them. All of them.

Nachos

Be them super hot, super cold, super crispy, or super limp: fries are your lifesavers. You often make the fry experience more magical by inviting some of your other favorites to the table, like milkshakes and ranch dressing. The dipping motion puts you at ease, allowing you to recount all the fun you had that night.

Fries

Whoops! There she goes! Your pantry is always stocked with the essentials — the most important being that sleeve of pre-packaged confectionary blessings sent down from a commercialized heaven. We won’t sugarcoat it: you’re a sweet little drunk.

Entire Sleeve of Cookies

We’re talking with the crispy skin, off the bone. We’re talking nuggets. We’re talking strips. We’re talking white meat, dark meat, whatever color meat substitute they use at fast-food chains. If it’s a breaded, deep-fried hunk of something that clucked at some point, it is going down your drunk gullet with zero regrets.

Fried Chicken

When you go, you go all night. As you stumble out of the dark bar to meet the dawn, the obvious next step is “consume breakfast sandwich.” It can be from a diner or a deli, but there’s also something fulfilling about ordering it from the breakfast menu at the nearest fast-food joint. How you end your nights is the way you start your days, because you’re a genius and a champion.

Breakfast Sandwiches

Have they ever done you wrong? There’s nothing like that cheesy, melty, crispy goodness to say “Sayonara!” to your long night. Perhaps you work at a restaurant where the sticks are known to be a never-fail order, or perhaps you go out of your way to find a bar that has them. Either way, you’re going to get what you want.

Mozzarella Sticks

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Can We Guess Your Go-To Drunk Food?

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