1. Serving barbecue without sliced bread.
2. Un. Sweetened. Tea.
3. Keeping liquor stores open on the Lord's Day.
4. Koozie-free beers.
5. Not keeping up with the season's hottest trends in blaze orange or camouflage.
Hunting is a lifestyle, not a hobby.
6. Making any kind of fall Friday night plans that don't involve bleachers, calling referees' names, and wearing the same colors as everyone around you.
7. Driving anything that isn't an SUV or a truck.
8. Neglecting to complement full tanks of gas with jerky.
Finely tuned machines like vehicles and human bodies require the right fuel.
9. Passing up Cheerwine anything.
Where do you even get the audacity to say no to Cheerwine? The heathen North, that's where.