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    Mar 21, 2020

    18 Things That Happen When You Stay With Your Parents

    Yes, you love them but for the love of god, mum, please stop asking me what I want for dinner.

    1. There will be a tiny pile of paper cuttings waiting for you on your old bed when you arrive that your mum has been saving up.

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    She won’t be able to remember what they are, mind.

    2. You’ll be asked for a blow-by-blow of your romantic life.

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    “So why *is* it you haven’t settled down yet, Claire?”

    3. Shortly before getting into an argument with your dad about what to watch on television.

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    Yes, Mrs Brown’s Boys was voted the best sitcom of the 21st century, but that doesn’t mean you have to watch it.

    4. You’ll spend several hours trying to explain how WhatsApp works.

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    Only to be sent a string of inappropriate emojis by your mum.

    5. Next on the menu is setting up their brand new Alexa.

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    “No, dad, it doesn’t work if you call her Siri.”

    6. An afternoon will be dedicated to explaining to them what your job is.

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    “Content producer you say, is this something to do with the internet?”

    7. Stay long enough and you’ll get the full low down on everything everyone you’ve ever known is doing now.

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    So, Aunty Sandra’s ex-husband Derek’s son had an affair did he? Tell me more!

    8. You might think about sneaking a trip out to your old local.

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    But your plans will be foiled because you can’t get there without a lift from your dad.

    9. Your mum will cook you a meal bigger than everything else you've eaten that week combined.

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    And you better have saved room for dessert.

    10. Without even noticing it you’ll slip back into being a teenager.

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    “Mummmmm, can you bring me a glass of squashhh.”

    11. Maybe you’ll even get them to do some of your laundry while you’re here…

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    Is that too much? Asking for a friend.

    12. You’ll get into one of those very grown up arguments over who is going to pay for something.

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    "No, I’LL get it, mum."

    13. A phone will ring in the distance and you’ll wonder why it has such a weird ringtone.

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    Yep, it’s a landline people.

    14. Your mum will offer you a selection of gifts she’s picked up for you at TKMaxx.

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    They will either be the wrong sized or made out of fleece. Sometimes even both.

    15. At one point your dad will earnestly pull you to one side and tell you about a new band he's discovered.

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    You will listen to a whole Mumford and Sons album pretending you’ve never heard of them before.

    16. Someone will suggest a nice game of Monopoly…

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    All we’re saying is, play at your own risk.

    17. But you’ll also have some amazing bonding moments.

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    It’s almost like your parents are real people too?

    18. And you’ll get back home and wonder how on earth you’ll live up to your parent's cooking.

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    Even if you are still stuffed from dinner.

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