What I Learned From Watching (Pretty Much) Every Dr. Seuss TV Adaptation In Order
Since my journey into the quaint little world of Peanuts last year, I've been racking my brain to come up with a sequel article of sorts. I wanted to do something that was just as timeless, and also had a significant presence around Christmas. I initially wanted to do EVERY Seuss adaptation, but I ran out of time so here's the TV specials and Theatrical Short Adaptations.
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1. Horton Hatches the Egg (1942)
Here we are with the first adaptation of Seuss' work, and it's a Merrie Melody, with the classic Looney Tunes opening music and everything! Maisie is an expecting bird who gets tired of sitting on her egg. So she gets Horton, a good-natured and inexplicably pink elephant, to do it while she goes on vacation (possibly forever).
I've got to admit, as much as I admire the work of Bob Clampett, this just feels odd. There's a lot of merit to it, with the narration and rhyming staying consistent throughout, but alongside that merit, some things just don't work. Horton's voice for one is weirdly distracting. It sounds like that "edgy" kid who thinks they're funny doing an impression of a deaf person. I know Horton's supposed to be a bit simple-minded, but he's just dumb in this. Alongside Horton's voice and intelligence, there's also a scene where a fish with Peter Lorre's face flat out shoots itself. That's classic Looney Tune humor, sure, but in a Suess adaptation it just feels weird.
Best Rhyme: "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent."- Horton, delivering a line that will probably pop up multiple times throughout this endeavor.
What I Learned: How animal babies are made.
2. Gerald McBoing Boing (1950)
In this theatrical short, we meet Gerald, a young boy who has an entire foley studio in the back of this throat rather than working vocal chords. This causes him to get shunned by the other children his age, get kicked out of school on his first day, and makes his parents full of grief. As a matter of fact, his father seems to hate his guts until the last few seconds of the short.
This one feels the most like a straight adaptation of the book. Its background and designs are simplistic, there's an omnipresent narrator, and nothing is really added in to depart from the source. In fact, having sound effects actually enhances this story and distracts from what a downer most of it can be. It's quick and on YouTube, so I'd call it a worthy distraction.
Apparently UPA and Columbia had a whole series of Gerald Shorts, but this is the only one listed on Dr. Seuss' filmography so this is the only one I'm covering. WELCOME TO MY DOMAIN! I MAKE THE RULES!!
Best Rhyme: "We cannot accept him for we have a rule, that pupils must not go *cuckoo clock noise* in our school."- A note from Gerald's teacher, sending him home mere seconds after arriving.
What I Learned: Money makes the world go round, baby.
3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)
Aw yeah. Now we're getting to the good stuff. In case you've been living under a rock for the past 52 years, How the Grinch Stole Christmas tells the story of The Grinch, a grumpy green guy who decides one day to steal Christmas from the local town of Whoville. Yup, it's all there in the title.
This is an annual classic, and it's not a surprise why. Similar to A Charlie Brown Christmas, it teaches the lesson that Christmas isn't about the material goods, rather the spirit of the season and the people you love. Not only does it teach a good message, but it's hilarious with some wonderful music and physical comedy courtesy of legendary Looney Tunes director Chuck Jones. It's also one of the most honest Seussian adaptations, with very little filler to reach the 30 minute runtime, unlike some other adaptations. We'll get to those.
Also I have used the "All the noise, noise, noise" scene to describe severe hangovers many times throughout my college career. So thanks to this for that.
Best Rhyme: The entirety of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch". It's so catchy and fun that every future adaptation has used a new cover of it in some way, shape, or form.
What I Learned: Christmastime is all about the people you share it with. Plus Dr. Suess kids had some dope instrument/toys. I mean have you SEEN the Great Big Electro-Who Cardio Schnuckz? That thing looks INSANE.
4. Horton Hears a Who! (1970)
Chuck Jones is back! And so is Horton! Looking like much more like an Elephant this time!
Much like Horton Hatches the Egg, this is all about Horton the Elephant getting made fun of constantly because of a promise he made to a seemingly absentee party. This time he finds an entire world, known as Whoville, a speck of dust floating through the Jungle of Nool. Meanwhile, as he tries to keep his tiny new friends safe, the rest of the jungle judges and berates him.
Unlike the first Horton adaptation, this one gets his character down. Instead of being an idiot, he's more of a simple, sweet child-esque figure. His voice is calm and friendly, and he's just so lovable. Just like the rest of this special! It's fun, cartoony, entertaining, and real lovable.
This, along with many others on this list, was frequently on TV in my home growing up because my parents taped a "Dr. Suess Day!" marathon from Cartoon Network. It had a good 60% of this list on it, so a lot of this is going to be looking back, trying to avoid Nostalgia Goggles. I'm really glad to say that Horton Hears a Who! still holds up.
Best Rhyme: "'Humph!' said the Sour Kangaroo, and the Little Kangaroo in her pouch said 'Humph, too!'"- The Kangaroo mother and child, always making me crack up as a kid for some reason.
What I Learned: When I first watched this as a young one, it basically taught me what twist endings were. So let's go with that.
5. The Cat in the Hat (1971)
Okay, who's heard of "Weird Al" Yankovic? Goofy fella, big hair, writes and performs parodies of popular tunes? Well, picture him but with smaller hair, more of an interest in the public domain, and put him in the 1950s, and you have Allan Sherman, the voice of the famous feline in this fine, fine special.
Do you really need me to explain this plot? The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play, so Sally and Conrad sat in the house on a cold, cold, wet day until a 6 foot tall talking animal broke into their home and they asked no questions about it. Chaos ensues as this furry trickster God unleashes a pair of inhuman mini-tornadoes and all but destroys their home in the name of fun, as the aquatic voice of reason is tortured and put to sleep. An absolute classic.
Most adaptations of children's books such as this require lots of plot filler in order to pad the runtime, but that's not present here. The plot follows the book to a T, and the only filler material comes in the form of fun, goofy, and surprisingly catchy Allan Sherman tunes. It's another nostalgic childhood favorite, and I still find myself humming "Calculatus Eliminatus" and that one where they say "The Cat in the Hat" in multiple languages from time to time to this very day. It's definitely worth checking out more than...that other Cat in the Hat Adaptation.
Best Rhyme: "Cat! Hat! In French, Chat Chapeau. In Spanish, El Gato in a Sombrero"- The Cat displaying his impressive, albeit self-centered, language skills.
What I Learned: Any stranger that comes to your house to party will ABSOLUTELY clean up afterwards. That, and the fish's name is "Karlos K. Krinklebine"! What a heck of a name he's got there!
6. The Lorax (1972)
Ah, Lorax. You sad Wilford Brimley meets an Utz Cheese Ball-lookin' hippie.
This was another one of the specials on the aforementioned VHS tape, but it was never one I sought out. If I popped that tape in, I would always be excited to see The Cat in the Hat, Horton Hears a Who!, or Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? (Don't worry, we'll get to that). The Lorax always seemed to be one that just...happened in the middle. Not that I didn't like it, I just remember being bored or sad for most of it. Let's see if 18+ years has changed anything.
The Once-eler tells his own story of success in this special, and how he ultimately destroyed not only his business, but the environment as well. His specialty was making Thneeds, a versatile piece of clothing/bedding/flooring/food(?) make out of the tufts of Truffula Trees. As he chops the trees down, he gains the attention of The Lorax, a small orange fellow who speaks for the trees and everyone else in the environment. The Lorax's warnings and protests fall on deaf ears, however, and things keep going from bad to worse.
There's SO much more music in this than I remember. Going into it, I expected the "Everybody Do Do Do Do Do Do Need A Thneed" song, but man, a tune pops up every 25 seconds in this thing! I understand why I wasn't huge on it as a child, because it is a very dour and serious special, but without being preachy. In fact, sometimes it can even get deep with The Once-ler talking to himself at one point acknowledging that what he's doing is problematic, and briefly arguing with The Lorax about the economy. In fact, you never see The Once-ler's face at all, so he could be anyone or anything. There's moments of this that are fascinating, and overall it's a generally great, if a bit overserious package. It's like the visuals and music were made just for the kiddies, while the content and message seemed to be screaming to the parents. Save the environment! We can still learn from this!
Best Rhyme:"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."- The Once-ler, giving both hope and caution to the small, unnamed boy listening to his story.
What I Learned: This all takes place in New Jersey (or New York), according to the Once-ler's directions to his house saying to "Turn Left at Weehawken". Who knew?
7. Dr. Seuss On the Loose! (1973)
Remember how so many of the Peanuts specials in my previous article were just compilations of tiny, self-contained stories? Well, we've got out first Dr. Seuss one! With Allan Sherman briefly reprising his role as The Cat! What fun!
The Cat acts as our host and emcee for two classic Seuss adaptations and one that..also exists, The Sneetches, The Zax, and Green Eggs and Ham. The Sneetches tells the tale of racist birds who simultaneously get ripped off by a sleazy inventor while creating a ride with a stupidly long line at Islands of Adventure, Green Eggs and Ham is about a picky eater who gets endlessly chased and pestered by a pushy food salesman, and The Zax is about...standing in place.
Even though there's 3 stories here, there's really not much to say about them. They're 100% accurate book adaptations, just with motion and music. It's a cute, fun little distraction!
Best Rhyme: The entirety of The Cat's song about Eggs is bizarre enough to be funny.
What I Learned: Don't be racist, eat strange foods, and STAND IN PLACE FOR YOUR BELIEFS.
8. The Hoober-Bloob Highway (1975)
The first non-book adaptation on this list answers that age old question: How would Dr. Seuss talk about where babies come from?
No, I'm not kidding.
This special tells the "story" of Mr. Hoober-Bloob, a man who crates babies in space with his living Mandolin (by using a machine, you perverts), and gives said baby a look at their possible futures before sending them down to Earth. A good majority of this special just looks at multiple hypotheticals of what could happen to this baby during his life on Earth, from having to learn to milk walruses, to a school where the chairs will chase you down until you HAVE to learn. It's...a hard to describe special.
This one's set up like a musical revue, with Hoober-Bloob saying a few lines before transitioning to a song from a disembodied chorus about how "It's fun to be human!" or "you have to choose a job eventually!". It's strange, and honestly not as fun as I remember it being. This is really only for the biggest of Seuss fans with the smallest of attention spans, since there's a new colorful location every four seconds or so.
Best Rhyme: "When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle."- Mr. Hoober-Bloob describing what it's like to be a scientist. (Yes, it's originally from Fox in Socks but that doesn't have a special and it's in this one so it counts.)
What I Learned: We had the option to choose to be human or not before we were born, apparently! That...that explains a lot of people on the internet it seems.
9. Halloween is Grinch Night (1977)
The Grinch's first spoken line in this is "It's a wonderful night for eyebrows". Do with that what you will.
Every autumn down in Whoville, the weather patterns change to let in what's known as "The Sweet and Sour Winds". These winds make animals growl and fight which each other, causing lots of noise, which of course makes the Grinch go down to Whoville and generally be a jerk. During these winds, a young Who named Euchariah ventures out to "go to Euphamism", which I think means to go to the bathroom, and ends up face to face with the titular green grump himself. Will Euchariah survive such a terrifying encounter? There's only one way to find out...
This is one of the few specials that I had never seen before starting this project, and man, was I missing out. This thing is WEIRD in so many ways that it's almost hypnotic. From the main family all having Biblical sounding names that all end in "-iah", to the special being entirely in rhyme, to Max the Dog getting a song, there's just so many bizarre moments and qualities. A segment towards the end is a real odd treat, as it shows what a Dr. Seuss version of the Pink Elephant sequence from Dumbo would look like, taking full advantage of the special's Halloween setting.
One question still remains: where does this fit in the Grinch canon? Maybe we'll be able to answer that in a few specials, but something tells me we may just end up more confused.
Best Rhyme: "...Another Grinch Night might commence. I wouldn't go out on a night like this for a dollar and fifty cents!"- Josiah, singing about his fear of the evening.
What I Learned: Do you know what Astigatism is? Well, even if you do, fear not, our main character is here to explain exactly what it is in weirdly scientific detail.
10. Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? (1980)
Ah, yes. Pontoffel Pock. There was a long point in time where I didn't think you were real because nobody else had heard of you, but nope. You're here, you're real, and I could definitely play you in a live-action adaptation.
After getting fired from his job at the Dill Pickle factory, young Pontoffel Pock wishes to "get away from it all". A fairy hears his wish, and grants him with a magic piano that can take him all around the world. After he learns the magic tune, Pontoffel gets into all kinds of shenanigans all around the world, with the fairies searching for him the whole time.
This feels like the first real musical special on this list. While almost all of the other ones have had some musical component to them, all of those songs felt like filler. The songs here feel more necessary to the story, what little story there is. It's a rushed adventure, sure, but I think I love it because of its potential. There's something super cool here. I know Audrey Geisel (Rest in Peace) demanded no more live-action Suess adaptations after 2004, but can't her estate make an exception? A big, fantastical, family-friendly musical starring yours truly? It could be Universal/Warner Bros./Whoever owns Seuss rights' answer to Mary Poppins Returns! Hollywood. Call me.
Favorite Rhyme: The Pickle Song in its entirety.
What I Learned: How to make the perfect jar of Dill Pickles. Thanks, pickle song!
11. The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat (1980)
And you thought Infinity War was the most ambitious crossover of all time. Eat your heart out, Marvel!
Oh, wait...this is a Marvel production?
Well, okay then.
Eat your heart out Kevin Feige.
One gorgeous day, The Grinch wakes up in a splendidly un-Grinchy mood, so much so that his reflection tells him to knock it off and go back to being a grouch. The Grinch follows his advice, and begins to torment The Cat in the Hat, who apparently lives in the same neighborhood that's not exactly Who-ville. The Cat, meanwhile, is trying to figure out just why The Grinch is such a meanie. Maybe it has something to do with his past...
This was a special I ADORED as a child, mainly because it was the first crossover I had seen at that point, and it blew my mind. I guess this explains my fondness for the MCU. However, watching this as an adult, it's all weird bubblegum filler. All the hallmarks of the two characters are there, with The Cat just wanting to have fun and The Grinch being annoyed by said happiness, but it doesn't feel as natural as their seperate specials did. It feels...corporate. Like they came up with the title and then went "okay yeah people will watch that".
Also, it's another special that messes with the Grinch canon. So he still lives on a mountain and still has Max. But he hasn't had a change of heart yet. So does that make this a prequel? Well, no, because he has a change of heart in this, along with a ton of goofy weird inventions that we don't see in Christmas or Grinch Night. So is it a sequel to Grinch Night, since it follows that chronologically? No, because he still has Max, isn't living in Who-ville, and seems to have no Paraphernalia Wagon. Are these all different Grinches? Is a Grinch actually a race of beings, and we're following seperate ones throughout each special? They all just love naming dogs Max?
Maybe they're descendants of each other that ignore the call to the light that their O.G. (Original Grinch) had before them. Like a whole line of Kylo Rens.
Best Rhyme: "A day when cats put on fresh hats, when cats put on their picnic hats and go outside to play!"- The Cat in the Hat, saying the one line that has been running through my head very often for some reason???
What I Learned: It's totally great to psychoanalyze every person you meet without their permission. Yep. You don't look like a jerk at all when you do that.
12. The Butter Battle Book (1989)
Using "Book" in an animated special's title is an odd choice. So is choosing noted X-Rated animation director Ralph Bakshi to direct your family-oriented Cold War allegory special. Okay, a lot of this is weird.
A young boy and his Grandfather who belong to the Yooks stand at a wall and talk about their on-going conflict with the people on the other side of the wall, the Zooks. Yooks and Zooks have been at war for years, because of one reason: Yooks eat their toast butter-side up, and Zooks eat their toast butter-side down. Their fight escalates year by year, until they both have a potentially world-ending device that they're threatening to drop on the other side of the wall. Who will be the first to attack? The world may never know.
ALL RIGHT! ALLEGORIES! Perfect fodder for a television special! It's...not very fun. They're trying their hardest to make it a silly good time for families but it just comes off as exactly what it is: an anti-Cold War piece.
Best Rhyme:"Who gonna drop it? Will you or will he?" "Be patient. We'll see, we'll see."- The Boy and the Grandfather leaving this on a great cliffhanger.
What I Learned: WAR! HUH GOOD GOD YALL WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'! SAY IT AGAIIIIN
13. Daisy-Head Mayzie (1995)
This is the first special to be released after Dr. Seuss' death in 1991, and the last special we have on this list before we transition into the movies. And apparently it's about a girl who gets hit by that one annoying item in Super Smash Bros.
Huh.
Okay it's actually about Mayzie, a 12 year old girl who discovers a flower sprouting out of her noggin one day in school. After multiple attempts to yank it out of her brain, the children discover that the apparently sentient flower is attached to Mayzie, and proceed to make fun of her for it with the most annoying song out of all 13 of these specials. Later, it's found out that the Daisy and Mayzie are connected: if the flower dies, so will she. (Okay, it's said in a lot less dark way, but still that's what was meant). After some ridiculing, an agent comes in to make Mayzie and her flower huge stars, even if her family and friends don't want her to go. Will she discover fame isn't all it's cracked up to be? Or will Mayzie fall down a rabbit hole of the trappings of the good life?
It's a children's special made in the 90's, what do you think?
I was bored for most of this, confused why the Cat in the Hat appears as the narrator, until all of a sudden, I was sucked back in by an intoxicating presence. Something felt...fun. Strange. Like its own special brand of entertaining. And then I realized: TIM CURRY IS THE AGENT.
Best Rhyme: "It doesn't make sense! It couldn't be so! A noodle's no place for a Daisy to grow!"- Herman "Butch" Streudel, reminding me how funny the word "noodle" can really be.
What I Learned: The presence of Tim Curry, even for a few seconds, makes everything just a little bit better.
And now, some very brief bonus reactions to every Feature Film!
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000): Ever since I was a youngin' I hated this. Why are the Whos rat-faced creatures that live in a gray, gross-colored world?
The Cat in the Hat (2003): The Kupcake-inator scene almost makes this thing watchable. Almost.
Horton Hears a Who! (2008): Thank God Jim Carrey got to star in an adaptation that was actually great, not just "nostalgia great".
The Lorax (2012): I loved this when I first saw it in High School, but let's be real this thing's a mess that really doesn't need to be a musical.
The Grinch (2018): THEY MENTION WHO JESUS AND WHO SATAN IN THIS THING. TELL ME MORE. WHAT IS WHO CHRISTIANITY?
FINAL THOUGHTS
Some of these were rough, man.
While the Peanuts specials had consistent characters and years of comics to adapt, most of these had 60 pages max. With half of those pages being illustrations. So, filler had to be added with...mixed results.
I'm looking forward to doing this type of experiment again, but maybe I'll start earlier than December so I don't burn out and forget about it until January. Who knows!
Superlative Awards
Best Special: How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)
Best Original Special: Pontoffel Pock, Where are You?
Biggest Surprise:Halloween is Grinch Night
Weirdest Moment: The entirety of Daisy-Head Mayzie, or the Paraphernalia Wagon from Halloween is Grinch Night
Best Song: Either The Pickle Song from Pontoffel or the "Cat! Hat! In French, Chat Chapeau" fromThe Cat in the Hat.
Worst Song: Any of the songs from The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat
Worst Special: The Butter Battle Book
Best Rhyme: "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An Elephant's faithful, one hundred percent."- Horton, Horton Hatches the Egg.
What I Learned Overall: If you're gonna adapt something, please make sure there's something to adapt. Or just combine a bunch of things, like Seussical! I love the heck out of Seussical!
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