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I'm sitting in this bar and I start loudly hitting on this girl.
And I mean like really loudly and drunkly. So loudly and so drunkly. I'm super drunkly. My friends think it's so funny. I love the attention! Things are going great!
Then I say "you're the hottest girl in this bar but if someone else walks in maybe that would change idk"
This is my first mistake. "That's not something my husband would say," she says in suuuuuch an annoying tone.
"Ugh, why are you using that shrill tone?" -me
"Now, that's something my husband would say!" she replies.
"This is boring! Change the channel!" -me again. I was of course referring to the fact that she was talking. I was swiping left on her entire existence.
"That's exactly what my husband would say!" is what she says.
"Ew, take out the trash!" -me, referring to herself. Like why won't she (the trash) just take herself out? You understand.
"That's what my husband would say!" -her again, with her antics.
"Do you want me to pick up some food after work?" -I say this to my guys..."food" meaning girls, "work" meaning after I have sexual nighttime relations with this girl.
She hears me, by some mistake, and says "That's what my husband would say!"
I'm picking up on her methods and I realize she's asking for my hand in marriage. "Do you want to marry me?" that's what I say to test the water.
"That's what my husband would say!"
...and that's how I met your mother. TWIST!!
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