The 7 Superfoods That You Should Eat Because If Not You Will Literally Die

One day, you will literally die.

1. Goji Berries!

Goji Berries! Without eating these vitamin C rich berries, one day...probably years from now...you will die.

2. Quinoa!

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Quinoa! You've heard this before but quinoa has so many amino acids that it's crazy! Also, one day you will take your final breath! And you'll be out of here!

3. Hemp Seeds!

Hemp seeds! Hemp seeds are high in protein and contain amino acids. Eating them will possibly postpone your inevitable demise! But remember, hemp seeds will not postpone your demise forever because it is inevitable.

4. Blueberries!

Blueberries! But you've already heard about blueberries! But have you heard that a human life is a precious gift! And one day, hopefully surrounded by friends and family, at a very old age, at peace with your life and your mistakes, your human life will end? Eat blueberries!

5. Avocados!

Avocados! Healthy fat! We don't have to remind you! Yet need we remind you of your own mortality? And the fact that the material items with which you adorn yourself are so finite and insignificant that they add up to nothingness?

6. Lentils!

Lentils! Did you know a half cup of lentils gives you nearly half your daily folate--a vitamin that protects fetuses from neural tube defects? Did you also know that lying in fetal position will not change you back into a fetus no matter how hard you wish to be unborn?

7. Spinach!

Spinach! If you eat spinach, you will literally live forever.