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1. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"
2. Want to hear a roof joke? The first one's on the house.
3. Why don't koalas count as bears? They don't have the right koalafications
4. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
5. I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.
6. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, "This is a library." The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please."
7. Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile.
8. Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore.
9. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
10. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine's Day to dance? The Meat Ball!
11. What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down.
12. Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
13. It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
14. How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps.
15. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
16. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
17. Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
18. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
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