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    19 Food Truths Only Chicagoans Will Understand

    If only the tamale guy could be your boyfriend.

    1. You know that hot dogs come on a poppy-seed bun with a pickle spear, sport peppers, onions, and relish.

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    NO KETCHUP.

    2. This is not a pizza. This is a cardboard slice with cheese.

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    THIS is a fucking PIZZA.

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    3. Of course, the only other acceptable way to eat pizza is in puff form.

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    You're welcome, world.

    4. You don't get to have incredible food like this...

    ... without some kindhearted verbal abuse from this lady.

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    Survive long enough to eat and you can join the true Wiener's Circle.

    5. You're not a true Chicagoan if you haven't choked back a shot of this.

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    Malört exists solely to help us weed out the weak.

    6. When bar kitchens close, the tamale guy is your one true savior.

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    His little red cooler is full of miracles...and tamales.

    7. This is, and always will be the "Chicago Mix."

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    We love you, Garrett, but CHANGE IT BACK.

    8. "Italian Beef" isn't some weird euphemism for a hot guy from Rome.

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    And it's wayyyy more delicious.

    9. Bread is soooooo overrated. Fried plantain is the way to go!

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    The jibarito was supposedly invented right here in Chicago!

    10. You put your gym shoes on to run and get a Jim Shoe.

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    And then you can't imagine ever running again because you're STUFFED.

    11. You only like your cheese flaming hot...literally.

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    Because The Parthenon is the true home of the flaming saginaki!

    12. And the most amazing food is only as far as Devon Avenue.

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    You don't have to get on a plane to find tasty food like at Hema's Kitchen.

    13. Goose Island is so much more than a resting place for birds.

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    Birds of a feather drink together.

    14. Cake is fine on a plate, but it BELONGS in a shake!

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    Bless Portillo's for officiating this holy marriage.

    15. The only explosion you'll get from a Chicken Vesuvio is one of flavor.

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    And maybe drool from staring at this picture.

    16. Half the fun of eating at Ed Debevic's is trading insults with the sassy AF servers.

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    Eat and get out.

    17. "Pilsen" is basically a synonym for "BEST MEXICAN FOOD EVER."

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    You don't have to cross any borders to get to 18th Street!

    18. Polish food is everywhere, but nothing is as cheap or as amazing as Podhalanka.

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    Serving you pierogis with a side of Polish grandma vibes.

    19. And finally, you know that no matter where you are, Chicago will always serve you the best food in the Midwest.

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    Windy City for life.