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Take this quiz to find out which classy lady in Room 305 you are. For reference please listen to this song before you begin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJGqMBjBd4Q

Which 305 Hoe Are You?

Once upon a time not long ago, I was a...

And I'm \_\_\_\_\_\_ it

Won't take it back, 'cause \_\_\_\_\_\_

What is your typical going out routine?

Movie genre?

Bed Time?

Pick your poison:

What's your catchphrase:

What's your role in the common room conversation?

What do you look for in your future spouse?

Favorite BC Memory

What are you looking forward to in the next 9 months?

I hope you went to church this week, because you’re as holy as they come. Except no one comes in your world. You’re also ironically the one who is always down to #hang and #party, probably because you procrastinate on all your homework and are the only one who is #twentyfun. You are currently in Old Britain kissing cute English boys, so we are all low key very jealous. Way to go!

Claire

Are you watching Netflix on your phone while also doing a crossword on your computer? Are you lit af? Is your favorite quote incredibly morbid? Well, obviously, because you’re a Nicole! You watch Galavant with your roomies and genuinely can’t understand why nobody else could enjoy this beautiful and musical period piece. Your bed is your true sanctuary and the cashiers at City Co. probably know your life story. You wear some banging booties (with a moderate heel) and you have the finest ass in this godforsaken school. Brush up on your politics knowledge because the LSAT is coming up fast, and if you’re ever going to make it as the governor of North Carolina, you better ace that shit. You also never black out or vom and I think you should get more credit for that.

Nicole

Congrats, you two time Least Valuable Player, sink-cloggin’, uninvited member of our room. Your activities include making questionable decisions, avoiding peanuts, shirts and responsibilities, answering physics questions, and, more than anything, clogging the dang sink. If marielle is smell sensitive, you’re sink sensitive. This is awkward bc we didn’t invite you to join our quiz. What are you even doing here anyway?

Shannon

Berenstein or Berenstain?! Welcome to Marielle’s world, that is, the Twilight Zone. Crack out that Ouija Board and remember to say goodbye, even though it’s already too late and Marcus has your soul. I’ll bet you’re unapologetically sassy and yet somehow everyone still loves you because you look strikingly similar to Dobby the Elf. That’s some damn good genes. You are smell, temperature, and germ sensitive and you go to Lower at 4:30 daily to get your nightly bagel. Good job. Keep researching those conspiracy theories.

Marielle

Between your depressing music and your dark, dark soul, it’s a mystery how you get out of bed in the morning. If you even live in this room… you’re never here because of your hectic and demanding lifestyle that focuses mainly around HIV/AIDS. You insist that all the bands you listen to are extremely popular even if no one else has ever heard of them. Your Illinois history education failed you when it failed to teach you about Watergate, and you named your high school clique, like a real life teenage drama. Currently, you study in Ecuador and we miss the sounds of you, most importantly your incessantly loud nose blowing.

Lori

If you’re a Courtney, you love dogs, Christmas and sex in that order. Most of your conversations end in startling sexual revelations and/or pictures of Bali. Your favorite fantasy probably involves Santa Claus and/or your physics TA in a tent, idk you’re probably weird. You bunked your bed because of the challenge of sexual intercourse on the top bunk, and you’ll be damned if you fail. You are single handedly responsible for feeding the entire room on Thursday nights and letting us know when the froyo machine is on. You’re also strikingly attractive. Like damn. One final piece of advice for you Courtneys out there: If you’re not even feeling this Four Loko yet, I feel like you’re not drinking it fast enough.

Courtney

You’re probably from New Jersey, aren’t you? If you’re a “Keegan,” you think about sex or peanut butter every 3 seconds. Its statistically proven. And you would know, you’re a math minor. At a party, we can always find you taking shots or in the center of the dance floor. You don’t give a fux about anything except your peanut butter and texting your friends bc some bois can’t ~satisfy~ you.

Keegan

Adorable. Angelic. You’re the mom of the group, and have pulled each of your friends from death’s door. You probably have extra tall rain boots purely for the purpose of jumping into puddles because if you can’t be a child at heart, can you even live? You are a great human bean and always smell like you just got out of the shower (because you did). Get yourself a hedgehog for a pet (RIP Turtle), some penguin paraphernalia, maybe some wine if you’re feeling a little wild, because you are without a doubt a Shauna.

Shauna

If you are taking this quiz past 8pm and you got Alexandra, you definitely picked wrong. You are reliably in your bed/in the shower anytime past 8 and we can always rely on you to come out every couple of hours to contribute to the convo and grab frozen grapes and mustard.

Alexandra

V-I-CKY
The sound of her name makes the little kids cry (AHHHHHHH)  
Hey vicky you're so so icky
Just the thought of being around you makes me oh so sicky
Hey vicky won't you please explain why
you get so much enjoyment out of causing kids pain
(OH OH OH!)  
A chick who's just plain mean
A sour sweet 16
She's a fire breathing dragon
in a pair of black jeans (EEEEWWWW)  
AHOOOOOOO  
Hey vicky won't you tell us true
how'd we ever get the bad luck to be stuck with you
Oh vicky can we say one thing
It's your super total yuckiness
that makes us wanna sing  
OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Icky Vicky ooo ooo
Icky Vicky ooo ooo
ICKY VICKY!  
Enough said. If you're a Victoria, you're just plain icky.

Victoria

If you’re a Jess, you’ve just spent the last five months in sunny Australia kissing boys (and maybe a bit more… ok A LOT more). You have some pretty sick beach pics and you’ve probably been Disneyland more times than Walt himself. You’re a Zumba queen (or king, we’re inclusive in this quiz) and that’s how you keep your hot bod. We’re looking forward to having you back this semester to fuq sh!t up.

Jess

Good news, you’re the only one who can call Shauna mom. You make some meannnn mac and cheese and you are always on point with your puppy videos and LYM attire. You’re trendy and artsy and kewl and you’re probably the only one who has your shit figured out.

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Which 305 Hoe Are You?

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