1.
You never get enough Vitamin D, 'cause you're always in the mines.
2.
You get very excited about food.
3.
Actually you're thinking about food literally every second of the day.
4.
You have to have meat with every dish.
5.
Seriously, there is not enough meat in this world to satisfy you.
6.
Smaug is always after your gold.
7.
Headaches are occasionally an issue.
8.
Beard maintenance is so time-consuming.
9.
Green food is strange and frightening.
10.
See? You're already thinking about meat again.
11.
Elves are prejudiced against you, always.
12.
Horses are too large to be ridden comfortably.
13.
You're stubborn. You just can't help it.
14.
And people say you get too loud after you've had a couple of drinks.
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