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US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.
Death is always following us, which is totally chill...
It's always a good idea to be walking in shoes that are actively trying to make you fall.
Cars are speeding death machines that we try to control with our dumb animal brains. What are we even doing?
Stairs are the teeth of the ground, and yet we breeze up and down them every day like it's nothing.
Escalators — like stairs, but alive. They should be trusted even less.
Unless you know the place you're ordering from on Seamless is an actual FDA-regulated restaurant, you're going to have a bad time.
One cool new cell phone feature is that they now explode.
Bridges are sideways middle fingers to the ground.
"N-nice doggy!"
How many heavy things can you precariously lift over your head, bro?
Sometime around the industrial revolution, we decided to make air poisonous. In hindsight, this was a bad idea.