11 Helpful Tips For Making Friends As An Adult

Me: seeking five people to have coffee with in Central Perk.

Hi! I'm Natasha, and two years ago I moved from the UK to New York City.

Natasha Jokic / Instagram

One of the downsides of moving to a totally new place is having a friend count of zero. So, here are a couple of tips I picked up for making new friends as an adult human being:

1. First, join online communities.

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Peruse social media, especially Facebook and Reddit, for online groups that reflect your interests and your area. For example, I'm part of a Facebook group for expats living in New York that holds gatherings (pre-pandemic) for other people in the same boat.

2. Use apps.

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Apps like Bumble BFF take the dating app formula and apply it to friendship — because why should you only be swiping for a romantic partner?

3. Lean into your hobbies...

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My hobby is playing the drums, so when I moved to a new city, I joined a band, a local musicians' Facebook group, and a drummers' collective, and just started attending shows in my area like a fiend. Although music might not be your thing, the point I'm getting at is that there might be lots of ways to turn a seemingly solitary hobby into something that allows you to meet new people.

4. ...or take a class and find a new hobby.

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No existing hobbies? No problem! Spend some time learning that thing that you always thought sounded cool but never had the time for. The goal — and I cannot stress this enough — isn't necessarily to be good at whatever you're picking up (although, if you want to master something, go for it!). I SUCK at rock climbing but did it because it was fun and a great way to hang out with people.

5. Organize your own group.

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Unfortunately, there might not be an existing network for what you're interested in — but fortunately, that means you get to make it! Back in the day, I made a Facebook group for amateur musicians, which was an objective flop, BUT it did allow me to meet my future bandmates.

6. Join a sports team.

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This might evoke one of two reactions in you: a) Woohoo! I love sports! or b) Oh god, sports?! If you're a fellow person who thinks the latter, then I'd add that plenty of chill, no-stress amateur teams exist that are more about having fun than, you know, actually being good at sports.

7. Join a book club.

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If books are a bit too much of a time commitment, you can also look into essay, movie, or poetry clubs.

8. Volunteer in your community.

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In addition to benefiting your community, it'll allow you to meet people with a similar value system.

9. Go places solo and meet people there.

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See an event that you're super interested in but don't have anyone to go with? Go solo! You'll either a) meet people there on the fly or b) have an awesome time by yourself, you magnificent human being.

10. Reach out to people within your existing network.

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Whether it's asking that coworker you think is funny to go out for drinks or posting on social media asking for connections in a new city, there's a chance that you might know someone already who is your ticket to Friend Town.

11. Finally, it's a cliché, but be yourself!

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Look, you're an adult — you don't need to be friends with people unless they're adding value to your life. You have nothing to lose by being your true, authentic self. At worst, people don't like you — which, screw 'em, anyway — and at best, you make meaningful connections.