1. A cutter that will slice a pie or cake into perfectly even portions.
2. An apple peeler / core-er / slicer that will make pies a breeze.
4. A heavy-duty potato ricer that will make latke-making fast AF.
5. A cheery egg separator.
6. A gadget that will open jars, open pop-top cans, open pull-tab cans, and (most importantly) open your beer.
7. A grease separator that will help you make ~perfect~ gravy.
9. An apron with a towel that zips off for easy cleaning.
10. Pins that will help you lace your turkey without having to sew it up.
11. An attachment for your standing mixer that chops (and shreds) things for you.
12. Or this grater that does it with ~hand power~.
13. A salad chopper with multiple settings that chops veggies and eggs and (cooked) meat directly into a bowl.
14. A little plastic guy who will keep your spoon from making a mess, even if you have to drop it for a second to deal with something else.
15. An infrared convection cooker that can cook your whole damn turkey.
17. Gloves that make potato scrubbing easy.
Vegetable scrubbing brushes always get gross, anyway. These are much more washable. $11.95, here.
18. A pair of tongs that make slicing your roast fast and fair.
19. A hand held electric beater.
21. A handle that makes it easy to move your turkey from the roasting pan to the platter.
22. A garlic peeler / slicer.
23. A pie carrier that will help you get your masterpiece to grandma's house.
This one is $14.99, here.
24. A tube to stick inside your bird to make it cook faster (aka the "Turbo Roaster").
25. A top-rated turkey fryer.
26. A strange device whose only function is to remove an onion's peel.
But when you're faced with three pounds of unpeeled onions, something like this is basically a ~dream~. $49.99, here.
27. A comb that makes slicing veggies easy and accurate.
Plus that stainless steel circle in the middle will get rid of onion finger smell. $17.52 here.