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Whoah. Look at you go. Asking your valentine out, and doing something nice for them. I'm so proud of you! I wonder if I can guess what you got them?

Can I Guess What You'll Get Your Bae This Valentines Day?

Do you know your love language?
You can only pick one. Soz. That's how quizzes work.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Finish this sentence:  
  
My \_\_\_\_\_ brings all the babes to the yard.  


I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart! 
It took you eighteen hours to bake and ice the cake. 
It took four minutes to sweet talk your Valentine's office canteen lady to replace every sandwich on the menu with something called, "Hecking Babe Cake".
It took three months of vocal training to get up to those high notes - but you would not be deterred from showing your valentine just how much of a hecking catch they are.  
The moment will come when you feel the cake come to a jerky stop, hear the confusion in your bae's voice and the panic in everyone else's when your bae tries to cut into the cake. Seeing the look on their face when you jump out of a 6 foot cake and serenade them with the vocal stylings of Justin Hawkins?
Totally... worth... it...

Jumping out of a novelty sized cake, singing I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

What's cooler giving someone their own patch of Scottish Highland, roughly the size of a packet of Burger Rings, along with the elite title of Lord, Lady or Laird?
Heck! Why stop at the oligarchy, when you can help them join the intergalactic oligarchy?!
The very official certificate of ownership is just part one.
Pack you overnight bag, baby - we're going on a 4.24 lightyear, sexy vacay to visit your new star... and it's not going to be the only burning hot ball of gas. Amirite?

Buying a star for your Valentine, then taking them on a weekend getaway to visit their spacey namesake.

Running them a vanilla scented bubble bath - check
Coffee scrub - check
Oatmeal face mask - check
Relaxing, post-soak massage using coconut oil - check
Accidentally turning your sweet heart into a human bliss ball - check
Not to fear, your valentine is now a low GI, gluten free snack - perfect for an after workout pick me up, or a last minute office afternoon tea.

A sensual massage that may or may not end with your valentine becoming a human bliss ball

Nothing says romance like a young woman setting up elaborate traps and plans to stalk the object of her attention.
Sure, learning french was difficult, and Spanish or Mandarin would have probably been more useful in the current international climate, but you need to ask yourself - WWAD (what would Amelie do?).

Becoming fluent in French so you can reenact the entire movie, Amelie

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Can I Guess What You'll Get Your Bae This Valentines Day?

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