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Can I Guess What Kind Of Bean You Are?

Piracy. It's a crime. 
Is it, 1990's Australian Government? Is it really?

You're a hecking BEANie baby, but you have a dark mystery, don't you beanie baby? You got a heart full of secrets and a belly fully of tarantula eggs.
They fall for your soft, fluffy exterior and your shiny, button eyes - before they realise you're full of bb spiders instead of beans at all.
What a magical trick you are!

You're a Bean-ie Baby full of Tarantula eggs

Whoooaaaah there sparky.
Between your up and coming, local government political career, studying Mandarin and your bespoke pottery creations available through Etsy - how do you find time to fit it all in? Are you some sort of time-wizard? Do you have a secret clone, and delegate your work to them (effective delegation is the sign of good management. Go you!)
Oh yes, it's your strong time management skills and ongoing commitment to your own priorities. You. are. a. force.

You're a hessian bag of coffee beans

Hello my little Kidney Bean. 
You're so resourceful, so multi-talented, so adaptable, so clever.
Do you ever find yourself building a candlelit dinner table out of tealights, milkcrates and a skateboard?
Do you make your friends their Christmas presents, to their absolute delight?
Oh you, you wonderful bowl of nachos. You special lil bean salad. You surprising ingredient to chocolate brownies. 
Do not change. You are perfect as you are.

You are a can of kidney beans

Oft misunderstood, but never going unnoticed, you are strange beauty in bean form.
Did you come from a pod? Did your parents shell you in some far northern region of France? Is that why you tilt your head slightly and don't respond when someone uses the word cunt in a sentence? 
Oh, so mysterious.
I remember buying a coat from your vintage clothing Etsy store. It arrived with a Silvia Plath poem in the breast pocket. 
I still wear it to this day, Berlotti. <3

You're a picturesque smattering of berlotti beans

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Can I Guess What Kind Of Bean You Are?

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