Not to burst your bubble, but it's not really coffee if you're...
1. Pairing your "coffee" with cream equal in size.
2. Or greater in size.
3. Transforming your "coffee" with an obnoxious amount of artificial sweetener.
4. Taking your "coffee" as a mocha float.
5. Taking your "coffee" on a stick.
6. Taking your "coffee" at the blackjack table.
7. Creating a crust of syrup.
8. Using a literal goblet.
9. Sprinklin'.
10. Syrupin' like it's your day job.
11. Taking your sugar-ice with a side of coffee.
12. Using colors. Any colors.
13. Taking your "coffee" as seriously as you take your art.
14. Blowing bubbles for a fluffy treat.
15. Crystalizing the top.
16. Whipping it like pudding.
17. Searching for your "coffee" underneath your... sangria?
It's unique. But you know what it's not? Coffee.