High school is supposed to be a defining moment of our adolescence — preparing our bright, young minds for the real world.
Instead, for teenagers like me, it was a series of the most unfortunate, traumatic events that shaped me into a maladjusted adult, missing the days of no real responsibilities and misguided, carefree passions.
Do you have an embarrassing high school story you wish you could erase from everyone's memories? I do.
For me, it was the winter formal of my senior year. Everyone spent big bucks on shiny tuxedos, fancy gowns, and outdated limousines for the biggest night of our high school career.
My parents spared no expense on my tuxedo and matching Stacy Adams shoes.
Everyone saw my stylish outfit because I won Formal King! I was at the top of the world (and stage) — but I was also at the top of my alcohol consumption limit. It should've been zero. I had no business trying to finish a water bottle full of vodka, but teenagers make mistakes.
Remember that scene from Carrie where she won prom queen and her bullies covered her in pig's blood? The same thing happened to me, except it was my fault. And it wasn't pig's blood — IT WAS MY URINE! I peed my pants in front of everyone, and I must've eaten something intense because it was a hot, pungent piss. I feel like I can still smell it today.
Is there a mortifying high school story that you will never forget? Did you ever get secondhand embarrassment for somebody else?
Maybe you faceplanted on the second hurdle at your first big track meet, and the entire crowd clapped and awed as you limped across the track in last place.
Perhaps you walked around the entire day with your dress tucked into your Hello Kitty panties and didn't find out until the day yearbook pictures finally came out and your crush told you about it.
Or maybe you got a boner in the middle of your oral presentation in front of the entire seventh-period history class, for seemingly no other reason than the universe has a sick sense of humor.
I NEED TO KNOW so I don't have to experience this teenage shame alone.
