You've heard of the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit, right?
In case you haven't, it's a forum where folks share opinions about their behavior in different scenarios.
I recently came across this post about a 36-year-old English mother who let her 7-year-old daughter ride her pony to school and received a lot of backlash. As expected, the post spawned many reactions and asked if it's okay to flaunt it if you got it. Take a look and see for yourself what went down:
"My child asked if she could ride her pony to school last week. For context, we have a small paddock attached to our home where we keep two horses, one for me and one for my child. Every morning before school, my child gets all of her pony chores done before we leave, and we normally walk to school, which takes around 20 minutes. We live on the outskirts of a fairly populated city where it's not uncommon to see horses occasionally, but we are by no means in a rural village," she began.
"I agreed to let my daughter ride her pony to school because I thought it was harmless fun. Also, it gives the pony some exercise as we had plans and wouldn't be riding that evening. We arrived at the school gates and gathered a bit of a crowd, which was fine since the pony was very good and lapped up all the pats and strokes from kids," she continued.
"One girl came bounding over and started shouting at me, saying she wanted to ride. I politely told her no because she didn't have a riding hat and would have to learn on a safer horse. She started hysterically crying and pleading with her mum, saying she wanted to ride. Her mum looked at me with disgust and said, 'See, this is what happens when you have no self-awareness and bring a fucking horse to a school.' I was taken aback but ignored her, sent my child to school, and walked the pony home."
"I was talking to my friend this weekend, and she said I was the problem, and I was blatantly showing off and should have known that this would cause problems. My response is I turn up to the school gates in jodhpurs and boots regularly, so everyone probably knows I have horses. Is that showing off, too? All I wanted to do was let my daughter do something silly and fun. I am overthinking it, though, and I am nervous about doing a school drop-off tomorrow. So am I the asshole for letting my daughter ride her horse to school?
People had so many different opinions on the matter. Some said NTA (not the A-hole), others said YTA (you're the A-hole), and a few here and there said ESH (everyone sucks here or NAH (no A-hole here).
Mostly, the readers were on the side of the mother who let her child ride a pony to school.
"NTA. That woman blames other people for her clear lack of parenting skills. She has to manage her child’s expectations. My husband takes our daughter to school on a motorcycle, drawing the same attention without the entitled demanding a ride and rude response. Would you bringing a puppy with you elicit the same responses? I think not — YWNBTA."
"That woman is instilling entitlement into her daughter. Just because someone else has, she should have it too? No, Mom works hard to care for the horses and have horses. If the lady wants her daughter to have a pony ride, go to a riding stable or some metro parks that do rides. But not someone's personal horse."
"NTA. The other parents must teach their kids that you can't always have what others have. It is a fact of life. (And this comes from someone who grew up below the poverty line.) Will they be mad at another parent for driving an expensive vehicle? If I were the parent, I would tell my kid, 'Look at the pretty horsey! But don't touch it unless they let you, okay.'"
"Eye-catching, but there's nothing wrong with that. The horse is part of your life. When I was old enough, my dad used to turn up on his motorbike to give me a ride home from school. Nobody else got picked up on a moped, let alone a 750cc motorcycle. I know he was showing off, and he worked in a factory, so he liked to be in the open air after his shift ended. But it was still dead cool."
Some folks thought that the mother should've known better.
"Not an asshole for having horses or 'showing off' about them, but YTA for causing a circus at the school gates. Dropping the kids to school and trying to get work amongst all the terrible parking, traffic chaos, and general stress is horrible enough without navigating a crowd because someone brought a bloody pony along for the hell of it."
INFO; did you really think other kids would not bat an eye?! Of course, they wanted to ride the pony."
"Yeah, I don’t love the other parent’s reaction, but I can sympathize with getting your kid to school in the morning before going to work. Then, seeing your kid freak out because there’s a horse there and just being like, 'Fuck, I don’t need this morning. Who brings a horse to school?'"
"THIS!!!! Like clearly, the other parent overreacted, but I think OP is a bit clueless. And to say 'wearing riding clothes to pick up' is the same thing as bringing a HORSE to pickup" is a bit much. I feel bad for the other mom, even though she clearly overstepped, and also bad for the teacher. That's a lot to deal with for the start of the day."
Other people faulted everyone involved.
"Yep, I'm on the fence between NAH and ESH. Obviously, showing up with a horse will cause a huge fuss and potentially some issues, but equally, the other parent needs to teach her child to take no for an answer. The other parent sucks slightly more than OP, but neither has covered themselves in glory..."
"I think, regardless of who is the arsehole here or whether there is an arsehole at all, this was a not-so-wise decision on OP’s part."
But then some folks gave everyone the benefit of a doubt.
"I think I fall on NAH. Bringing the horse to school was guaranteed to cause a fuss among a bunch of little kids. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong that you did it; I think it was very predictable that at least one kid would get scared, upset they couldn’t ride it, get in a tizzy, etc., and this could trigger frustration in a parent.
If you were not anticipating that, I would agree with the lack of self-awareness. And obviously, showing up with a whole horse differs from showing up in jods and boots.
I think you’re okay to do it, but if/when a child flips out and a parent gets annoyed, you have to roll with that as an outcome of bringing a horse around a bunch of little kids."
What do you think about this scenario? Was the mom in the wrong? Would you let your kid ride their fancy pony to school? Tell me in the comments below.
Note: Some submissions have been lightly edited for length and/or clarity.