The 9 Biggest Winners On The Internet

Now that Tosh is back, maybe these champions will finally get the exposure they deserve. Catch all new episodes of Tosh.0, Tuesdays at 10E/7P only on Much.

1. Chad Mcghee, Everyone. Everyone, Chad Mcghee.

Chad Mcghee / Via youtube.com

The pride of Knox City, Texas crushes cans... and hearts.

2. D4NNY says goodbye to all the H8ERS, goodbye to all his fans...

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

D4NNY MUSIC / Via youtube.com

...and goodbye to the myth that with enough autotuning, anyone can sound on-key.

3. One of these toy guns is not like the other...

Hendrick Ball / Via youtube.com

I'd point out which one it is, but I wouldn't want to be a dildo about it.

4. What's better than girls falling off skateboards?

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How about girls falling off skateboards in an infinite loop?

5. Oh wonderful. Passive-aggression now comes in pop-song mode.

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First of all, you probably didn't get the mass text because you're 25 and still hanging around a high school.

Fun fact: Tay Allyn is what we call a double-threat. She can act, too! She played someone who didn't know she was pregnant in I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Tay, what can't you do (besides receive mass texts)?

6. Paging Tosh.0... and Child Services.

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7. An Aussie gentleman maintains his dignity, and penis, during an arrest.

thaamadvillain290 / Via liveleak.com

Update: Man escaped. Penis still in custody.

8. Gravity: 1, Sexy Cliché: 0

FunToFail / Via youtube.com

9. And of course the biggest winners of all, our neighbors to the south.

Lucas Cherry / Via youtube.com

It's tempting to think of a panicked bald eagle soaring through a loud megachurch as a perfect metaphor for the United States, but on the other hand... actually no, go ahead and think of it as a metaphor.