1. Are you sure you’re bipolar? You seem so nice.
2. Have you tried meditation / vitamins / sunshine / exercise / nature / yoga / essential oils / relaxing?
No, you've cured me!
3. Are you crazy?
The medical term is cuckoo-bananas.
4. Is it safe to leave children with you?
5. Does that mean you have two personalities?
Yup, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
6. But what do you have to be depressed about?
You’re right, my life is perfect.
7. Is it contagious?
8. Don’t you like being manic though?
Yes, spending all my money, having delusions, and pissing off my whole family is always a blast.
9. Why don’t you just snap out of it?
Thanks, Doctor. I didn’t think of that.
10. So you’re like Kanye West?
11. Aren’t we all a little bipolar?
Of course, Becky, just like we all have a little cancer.
12. How many times a day do you change your mind?
At least 5,000.