To The People Who Love Me,

To the people who love me & are fighting through my depression with me.

To the people who love me,

Morgan R

To the people who love me,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for just loving me. You are seeing me struggle & fight every day and have watched me become just a shadow of who I used to be. I know you’re frustrated that I am unable to see myself through your eyes and believe me so am I. Since the moment I completely shattered you’ve had to do so much for me, but please know it hasn’t gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

1. Thank you for your constant reassurance.

One thing that I know for certain is that I am loved by so many, but unfortunately with the way my brain works these days that doesn’t stop the massive amount of hateful thoughts I have for myself pumping through my brain. Thank you for reminding me, even when it’s multiple times a day, that I am loved & needed. I know it can be tiresome, I’m right there with you, but your constant reassurance is what helps me get through the day.

2. Thank you for listening.

My brain is on repeat of all the things I’ve done wrong or how I would have fixed it or how worthless & replaceable I am, the list goes on and on. I have a hard time remembering things & I know you must hear the same stories, thoughts, and ideas from mouth day after day. You never show an ounce of anger or annoyance and that calmness means more to me then you'll ever know.

Thank you for letting me get it out of my head even if it’s just for a couple minutes.

3. Thank you for helping me stay on track.

Thank you to the people who are making appointments for me & taking me to the doctors when need be. Thank you for sitting next to me as I make phone calls & watching as I schedule appointments with my therapist. Thank you for reminding me about things I need to get done when all I want to do is lay on the floor and just wait for time to pass. All of these seem like simple enough tasks that I should be able to do on my own, but sometimes I don’t even know how to get started. Thank you for supporting me in ways I haven’t known I needed until now.

Morgan R

4. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone.

Thank you for picking up the phone even though you know I’ll be crying on the other end. I know that dealing with someone sobbing isn’t always the most comfortable thing to deal with, but you do and your voice brings a sense of peace to me when my brain becomes overwhelmed.

Thank you for reminding me in those moments how not alone I really & truly am.

5. Thank you for your company.

Thank you for making trips to see me, taking me on hikes/a walk around the block or grabbing a bite to eat. I am aware that your time is precious and I know that if you didn’t see some value in me that you wouldn’t have spent part of your day in my company. I am always exhausted these days and may cancel on you from time to time, but when I reach out & you make some time for me just know how grateful I am.

6. Thank you for checking in.

Thank you to the friends online who reach out when you haven't seen or heard from me for a while. Thank you for taking the time to write a message or leave a comment. The love & support you show me, even from hundreds of miles (kilometers) away, inspires me to not give up during some of my darker hours.

7. Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for understanding that I have good days & I have bad days. Thank you for understanding that even during the good days the fear of the negative thoughts reappearing still looms & that the bad days (at this moment in time) will inevitably be back. Thank you for holding onto me even though I can feel myself falling back into the black abyss and for reassuring me that you won't leave.

Thank you for your unconditional love.

I know this disease is apart of me and who I am. I'll probably deal with it for a long while & I am learning to accept that, but despite this I truly don't want to make you cry anymore or worry when you don't hear from me for a couple days so thank you for giving me the purpose to follow through with getting all the help I need. Thank you for standing by my side & showing me what unconditional love is as I try to learn how to love myself again. Thank you for still being proud of me despite the negative setbacks. Thank you for not having once given up on me even when I have given up on myself.

You've said to me, "I wish I knew how to help you more" & I'm so sorry I've made you feel as though you haven't made a difference, but believe me when I say you are helping in more ways then I would have ever been verbally able to ask for.

Thank you.

Love,

Your forever grateful friend suffering from depression.