Ranking The 25 Pardoned Turkeys From "Totally FOWL" To "Tur-Yay"

These claims cannot be disputed, sorry not sorry.

25. Cheese and Mac

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Coming in at dead last, we have Cheese and Mac. If there was a ranking lower, we would give it to them. The reasoning for this is that the original bird is named Cheese, while the alternative's name was Mac. Obviously this should have been the other way around.

24. Abe and Honest

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Basically the same reasoning as Mac and Cheese. Why isn't it the other way around? The world may never know.

23. Drumstick and Wishbone

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Drumstick and Wishbone are a suspicious case. Besides having these crude names, there was suspicion surrounding these turkeys pardoned in 2017. As of November 2018, Fox News reported these turkeys "alive" and living a "lavish life," though other media outlets reported both dead. Something to look into...

22. Flyer and Fryer

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Rude names again. When will it end?

21. Courage and Carolina

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Boring names.

20. Peanut Butter and Jelly

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Not the most original names, but at least you could've called it "peanut butter and jelly time."

19. Jerry and John Doe

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Jerry was a whopping 45-pounder and the first bird to come with a sidekick. However, they are given a low ranking due to the fact that they didn't even bother naming the alternative.

18. Woody

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Woody was pardoned in 1988, before there was an alternative turkey. All the fame probably went to his head. We can assume he was arrogant.

17. Harry

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The only special thing about Harry is that he was the first to be given an official name, and we can all agree they could have done a better job.

16. Stars and Stripes

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Name is cohesive. That's all.

15. Peas and Carrots

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Solid name, both from South Dakota, and one-years-old at time of event. Solid enough.

14. Butter and Bread

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While I would normally give these a lower ranking because "bread and butter" sounds like a better order, I like them both regardless. It could never be as bad as Cheese and Mac, so they had to take the lead. Butter was the lucky winner here.

13. May and Flower

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45-pounder, cool names, and raised in Indiana — solid stats.

12. Pecan and Pumpkin

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Sadly, Pecan fell ill the night before the ceremony, so Pumpkin took the stage. This middle ranking is in Pecan's honor (not memory, he lived). We see that as of this year, the pictures got a little more artistic so points for that.

11. Charlie

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Charlie is cool because he went to the petting zoo after being pardoned.

10. Popcorn and Caramel

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Popcorn was pardoned, though he later suffered a heat stroke in the summer. This is in memory of him. We miss you, Popcorn. Caramel outlived one of the next year's turkeys. We love Caramel.

9. Corn and Cob

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It was voted on by Americans that Corn would be the honoree turkey, and it sure was a close one. So, that's pretty cool.

8. Apple and Cider

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Apple and Cider simply have no faults. Both great names, lived under an Obama administration, and died of natural causes.

7. Liberty and Peace

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This ranking goes out to Peace, who was euthanized shortly before Thanksgiving 2012. RIP Peace. This also goes out to Liberty, who was euthanized in April. RIP Liberty. Both gone too soon.

6. Biscuits and Gravy

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The name says it all. If the name didn't say it all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

5. Liberty and Freedom

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Liberty and Freedom were named in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. Never forget.

4. Katie and Zack

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Katie was our first female turkey pardoned!!!!!!!!! A queen!! The names suck, but we'll look past it.

3. Cobbler and Gobbler

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These names are awesome. Cobbler unfortunately died a sudden, tragic death and Gobbler was later euthanized. Their memories live on.

2. Tater and Tot

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A fan favorite!!! What amazing name choices, everyone is so happy to be in his presence, honestly only good things to say about these guys.

1. And Marshmallow and Yam

ABC

You may be wondering, why did Marshmallow and Yam win over Tater and Tot? I'll tell you. Marshmallow and Yam were the first turkeys after their pardoning to spend the rest of their days living at Disneyland, after serving as the honorary grand marshals of the Thanksgiving Parade. Sounds like a pretty sweet retirement if you ask me.