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How Stereotypically "White" Are You?

The buzzfeed quiz we took said Thomas is "not that white." This is clearly a mistake and must be fixed.

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  1. Check all of the following that apply to you.

    Check
    I live in a hip part of a big city
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    That was fairly recently gentrified
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    And a craft brew is great
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    I go to restaurants that say "libations" to refer to alcoholic beverages
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    I love Mad Men
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    I can both spell and explain what a "coxswain" is
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    Dave Matthews Band is pretty good. Crash into me?
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    My dogs have birthday parties
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    I buy special, expensive sunscreen that is 100+ SPF
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    I contributed to Bernie Sander's campaign
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    I listen to NPR
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    I love Radiolab
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    And podcasts in general
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    I shop at J. Crew
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    I went to a Catholic, single-sex school
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    I drive a Prius
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    My parents paid for my Prius
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    My parents probably love the dogs more than their human children
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    Our dogs live better than most humans on this planet
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    I grew up in a hip town known for its independent restaurants and LGBT scene
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    I read Tina Fey's book
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    I read Tina Fey's book in line at Chipotle
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    I am well-known at several Chipotles
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    I studied abroad
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    I took a wine-tasting class
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    I say things like "anthroposcene" and "polymath"
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    I "live in community"
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    I'm very brand-loyal to sunglasses
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    I took a class on European Film
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    I went to the same college as Paul Ryan
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    I was in a frat (YES, that German honor society counts)
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    I took a wine tasting class
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    I have tried to host a wine tasting in a dorm room
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    I love Fr. Greg and read/am reading his book
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    I have seen both Fr. Greg and Mike Pence speak live, and I have some opinions about the juxtoposition
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    I actually like going to baseball games
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    I have purchased an edible arrangement
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    And bought something from etsy
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    I can jam out to Phil Collins
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    Also Peter Gabriel
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    I know how important Lemonade is and I still haven't seen it
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    I'm pretentious
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    I'm dating an aspiring artist
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    I've flirted with vegetarianism before but failed
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    I have led a retreat
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    I've gone to one of those places where you paint pre-made ceramics
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    I think Zooey Deschanel is gorgeous
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    I have taken quizzes to find out my Hogwarts House and/or Patronus
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    I have a Nalgene bottle
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    I think camping is fun
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    I have seen all of HIMYM
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    and FRIENDS
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    I love a good sweater/cardigan
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    And I bought "The Shirt"
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    I know what "The Shirt" is
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    I've seen live performance of Irish Dance
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    I've vacationed in Colorado
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    I play co-ed sports with other "adults"
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    I have some feelings about Myers-Briggs
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    I'm very particular about my sushi
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    I've seen at least one Wes Anderson movie
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    I voted for Romney, but my liberal arts education made me so much more enlightened so I'm pretty embarrassed about it now
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    I used to play hockey
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    So I'm pretty good at ice skating
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    John Mulaney is hilarious
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    I'm loyal to mac computers even though I don't run Adobe CS or anything
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    I have spotify premium
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    Let's be honest, T. Swift's 1989 was actually pretty good
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    I was really attached to pokemon go for a while there
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    My Christmas sweater isn't even ugly and was probably from Urban Outfitters or something thrift stores scare me
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    I have been involved in couples halloween costumes
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    I marked the lowest shelf for my books "bourgeois" because I think I'm better than other people
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    If the flash goes off and/or I am in direct light, I look like a literal ghost/spirit in photos
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    I've been to special drum major camp. twice.
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    I love the fourth of July
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    People sometimes describe me as "Aryan"
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    I have a picture where I'm literally holding up a mini chalkboard
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    I drink a lot of Diet Coke. Like, a lot.
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    My name is Thomas Yarcusko and I'm really white
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