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13 Reasons Why It's Finally The Oregon Ducks' Year

If anyone is going to ruin Alabama's reign it's these well-dressed speedsters.

1. Mark Helfrich replacing Chip Kelly.

Chip Kelly was 46-7 as head coach of the Oregon Ducks. So you're probably wondering, "How on Earth can his leaving be a good thing?" Well, Kelly's departure for the NFL has been hanging over Oregon for the past three seasons. The hiring of Helfrich — the offensive coordinator under Kelly — gives the program more stability for recruiting without changing the offense at all. The Ducks will be just as fast as always if not faster, and they will be under less scrutiny with Helfrich at the helm.

2. They have the most electric player in college football.

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De'Anthony Thomas is now the featured running back for the Ducks and that should scare every single one of their opponents. His elite speed — 4.38 in the 40 — and elusiveness makes him a threat to score every time he touches the ball. The terrifying part is he's also an excellent pass catcher. People say "speed kills"; Oregon's speed embarrasses.

3. They've finally developed helmets designed to blind opponents.

4. They only have one loseable game on the schedule.

5. This practice facility bestowed from God will keep them laser-focused.

This is the most beautiful facility in the country. People wonder what makes 5-star recruits line up at the Ducks' door. Well....

And by "God" I mean "generous alumni," and by "generous alumni" I mean "Phil Knight."

This is all for 18- to 22-year-olds!!!!

6. They have been "oh so close" way too many times.

7. And the Duck isn't gonna let that bullshit happen again.

8. They're being completely overlooked.

All of the focus and attention is on Alabama, Johnny Manziel and Ohio State. Not many people are talking about Oregon. Less attention means less pressure.

9. My source in Eugene says they have developed a dope camouflage uniform for the Stanford game..

10. They have the best home field advantage in college football.

11. Their defense rarely gets any credit; however, they lead the nation in INTS last year.

12. They have the only person in college football capable of beating Johnny Manziel at his own game.

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Marcus Mariota is considered by some to be the best quarterback to lead the Ducks' spread offense — better than Dennis Dixon, Darron Thomas and Jeremiah Masoli. Coach Helfrich has claimed that he wouldn't trade Mariota for the world — even Johnny Football.

13. They have the most distracting cheerleaders in college football.