1. Step 1: Make sure there are cameras watching.
2. Step 2: Adjust fit to optimal comfort level while maintaining sultry eye contact.
3. Step 3: Continue adjusting until everyone forgets there’s a baseball game.
4. Step 4: Stand up and squeal in delight, because you’re wearing a hat goddammit.
5. Step 5: Continue standing. Bask in adoration.
6. *Results may vary.
- Bomb threats were called into Jewish centers in at least 13 states today, making it the fifth wave of threats since January.
- The suspect in a Kansas shooting that left an Indian man dead thought he was shooting Iranians, and the FBI is investigating as a possible hate crime.
- The House Intelligence chairman denied that his call to a reporter at the behest of the White House would influence the probe of Trump and Russia.
- "Moonlight" won Best Picture at the Oscars, but they accidentally gave it to "La La Land" first 😳