1. Step 1: Make sure there are cameras watching.
2. Step 2: Adjust fit to optimal comfort level while maintaining sultry eye contact.
3. Step 3: Continue adjusting until everyone forgets there’s a baseball game.
4. Step 4: Stand up and squeal in delight, because you’re wearing a hat goddammit.
5. Step 5: Continue standing. Bask in adoration.
6. *Results may vary.
- Chris Brown has been released on a $250,000 bail and is due in court on Sept. 20. He was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon after allegedly threatening a model at his home.