1. Step 1: Make sure there are cameras watching.
2. Step 2: Adjust fit to optimal comfort level while maintaining sultry eye contact.
3. Step 3: Continue adjusting until everyone forgets there’s a baseball game.
4. Step 4: Stand up and squeal in delight, because you’re wearing a hat goddammit.
5. Step 5: Continue standing. Bask in adoration.
6. *Results may vary.
- Congress has voted to override President Obama's veto of a bill that'd allow families of 9/11 victims to sue Saudi Arabia.
- Jerry Springer says Donald Trump probably wouldn't be on his show because his guests are authentic and tell the truth.
- As a perpetually plugged-in, texting, swiping, selfie-taking human being, you might be damaging your body without realizing it.